Hi I’m Rebecca
I guess you could say that I have always been anxious even as a child. I had a fantastic upbringing. My parents are such loving people. I was bullied throughout school as I grew older. Even those that I called friends used to insult me. I am pickier now with friends. Never have I been confident or liked myself. I always felt sick with nerves giving a speech and highly awkward during social situations.
I used to have panic attacks years ago when I wasn’t well. Also in the last few years before I go travelling as I worry beforehand that I will ruin the holiday by feeling ill. I tip toe around social events not wanting to ruin them for anyone. So normally I am very nervous before these take place.
Currently im struggling as I have been looking for houses and planning a wedding for next year as I’m getting married. I resorted to beta blockers as the pressure felt too much. My appetite is on an all time low and I have to distract myself with tasks. I have experienced several panic attacks.
My brain is on overdrive with thoughts most of the time. I have all the usual anxiety symptoms. Trying to get past this has been tough. I don’t want to worry all my loved ones. Chatting and laughing helps ease the worry. Also peppermint tea has been a saviour in helping me sleep. I’m forcing myself to go through my routine as normal with work and all.
I am easing myself off beta blockers and hoping for some inner peace at Christmas. If anyone has any tips for relaxing I would appreciate that. I try eating healthy and exercising. Also practice yoga.
Thank you if you took the time to read. Stay positive and if you feel the same you aren’t alone. We can fight our inner demons. We just have to find the strength.