Hi I’m Rebecca

I guess you could say that I have always been anxious even as a child. I had a fantastic upbringing. My parents are such loving people. I was bullied throughout school as I grew older. Even those that I called friends used to insult me. I am pickier now with friends. Never have I been confident or liked myself. I always felt sick with nerves giving a speech and highly awkward during social situations.

I used to have panic attacks years ago when I wasn’t well. Also in the last few years before I go travelling as I worry beforehand that I will ruin the holiday by feeling ill. I tip toe around social events not wanting to ruin them for anyone. So normally I am very nervous before these take place.

Currently im struggling as I have been looking for houses and planning a wedding for next year as I’m getting married. I resorted to beta blockers as the pressure felt too much. My appetite is on an all time low and I have to distract myself with tasks. I have experienced several panic attacks.

My brain is on overdrive with thoughts most of the time. I have all the usual anxiety symptoms. Trying to get past this has been tough. I don’t want to worry all my loved ones. Chatting and laughing helps ease the worry. Also peppermint tea has been a saviour in helping me sleep. I’m forcing myself to go through my routine as normal with work and all.

I am easing myself off beta blockers and hoping for some inner peace at Christmas. If anyone has any tips for relaxing I would appreciate that. I try eating healthy and exercising. Also practice yoga.

Thank you if you took the time to read. Stay positive and if you feel the same you aren’t alone. We can fight our inner demons. We just have to find the strength.

 

 

 

 

 

5 Comments
  1. joshua-treat 4 years ago

    These are great ways to relax that you have listed. The best advice I can give you is to visualize things the way you want them to turn out not how you fear they will turn out. You are setting yourself up for failure but do keep your relaxation techniques in mind in case you do have a panic attack. Something I like to do in a social setting if I feel anxious is to just excuse myself and listen to music. Try caring headphones with you every where and try it out. So just try and pretend that you are the social butterfly and one day you might blossom into that and if you run into trouble use a relaxation technique. I hope this helps. =D

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      becks1074 4 years ago

      Thanks for your advice Joshua. I appreciate it 🙂 I must try and visualise things in a positive light more often. I haven’t been doing much of that. I am a real people person and can easily talk to strangers even with anxiety. Music is great for relaxing especially if I’m singing along with the track.

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  2. kitmoon 4 years ago

    You’re already doing some great things. It’s been a while since I did yoga (and I would practice it now if I were more mobile) but it can be wonderful for stress. I remember child’s pose is great for when you’re feeling overwhelm. Have you tried alternate nostril breathing, nadi shodhana? My yoga teacher taught me that. Breathing exercises in general are great in general for keeping anxiety manageable, or allowing it to dissipate when it arises. My favourite is simply to breathe in for four counts, hold for four, breathe out for four, hold for four. That’s an easy one to practice several times throughout the day, when you’re waiting in line, on the bus, doing dishes, etc. I think of slow breathing as my personal ‘pressure valve’. My dad has had high blood-pressure worries, I taught them to him, and he says they’re very effective.

    You’re in a stressful/exciting time, so it’s important to keep the well full as much as you can, you know? Take care of basics first like sleep, exercise, keeping hydrated, etc, because that makes it easier to deal with everything else. Get enough sleep, and then get a little more than you need. Nap if you can. Switch out sugary foods for high-fibre ones because those keep your blood sugar and moods more stable.

    If you do feel a panic attack coming on, try letting the pressure out physically. Do some jumping jacks, shake your arms and legs, punch a pillow or the air, go for a run if able – when fight-and-flight is activated, the body naturally wants to do something very physical, and suppressing it usually leads to more anxiety. In fact, suppressing anxiety itself often doesn’t work. Instead, allow it to dissipate through deep breathing. It’s not about control, but regulation. Take time to purposefully let off some steam regularly so that things don’t ‘build’ too much, you know?

    Are you any kind of perfectionist? If so, I think the biggest ‘tip’ for relaxation by far is to work on any control and perfectionist tendencies you might have. Therapy is great in the long run for deep issues, but on a daily basis, be easier on yourself. I know that’s the kind of vague advice many people don’t really know how to implement, but one way to start might be regularly check in and ask yourself if the thing you’re worrying about right now is really, really important. Sometimes it will be, but a lot of times, it’s not. Anxious people often have an overabundance of tiny issues that have somehow come to represent life and death – it’s like there is only one way for things to be okay and ten million ways for a little thing to tip right over into disaster … I’ve spent most of my life in that space. The stress (and yes, panic attacks) eventually taught me to get much more discerning about what I let myself be stressed over. Not everything is or can be equally important.

    About not wanting to worry anyone. If you can share your worries with your family, do so. If they genuinely can’t handle it, or they tend to make you feel worse, then don’t – look elsewhere. But trying to keep a lid on everything yourself is stressful. Trying to keep up the image that ‘everything is alright’ all the time is stressful. It just is. Most people will understand that some anxiety is perfectly normal when preparing for a wedding or other big life change, so if you can share just a little with friends/colleagues, do that – just one short conversation now and then can make you feel better and more ‘human’. On the other hand if you fear that your anxiety is too much and might freak people out (a frequent worry of mine), then go elsewhere. Go where the folks understand, like this place. If you can do support groups, do that. Get a counselor. Just know there ARE plenty of people who get it, if you know where to look 😉

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      becks1074 4 years ago

      Thank you for the reply and the time you have taken. I must try the nostril breathing that you have suggested. I tried breathing in and out for four counts each as you suggested today. I will continue doing this. Im glad that your dad is benefiting from it. I’m sure I will too.

      I normally eat like a horse when I’m not stressed. But I have been struggling to eat much. What I am eating is very healthy for me as I do enjoy most unhealthy foods but I never was very unhealthy.

      When I feel a panic attack coming on at home, I have started lying on the floor and rolling over. It sounds nuts but as you say doing something physical and distracting is good. I might have to start venting on my punch bag which has been unused of late.

      I would strive for perfection at times. When I fall short and can’t complete a task or I have to leave early from a party. I tend to beat myself up mentally. Expecting more from myself than that.

      My loved ones are very supportive thankfully. They may not fully understand what I am experiencing but they have always had my back. I’m blessed to say that they would do anything for me.

      I think I need to believe in myself and stop fussing over everything else. It’s easier said than done and I do feel a struggle. I cried to my fiancé today. It seems pitiful but I was upset at how I’m worrying everyone. It just need all of my thoughts to stop unless they are productive and non destructive.

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  3. elltee 4 years ago

    Hi Rebecca,

    Youre doing great. Having taken the step to get married and find a place is already a big step for someone with anxiety. You re doing the right things; working out, yoga and all.

    Specifically on the wedding, I suggest 2 things;
    1) the tendency is to try and have everything perfect. Thats a big source of anxiety. Instead just be happy to have a successful day even if everything isnt perfect. We as a society have come to put a lot of importance on the day being perfect, when in reality it really isnt that important.
    2) build a wedding team that knows you and your anxiety. Every member has to be atune to this and respect it. Its your day and the only person you and your fiance need to please is yourself. There ard plenty of forums on wedding specific tips for people with anxiety to help reduce stress on the day.

    Goodluck and keep it up

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