It's been awhile…I have been so busy taking care of my almost one year old, dealing with Mr. OCD, and preparing for my friend's destination wedding, which is coming up. I started getting some major seperation anxiety today. I was on the verge of tears this whole day worrying about my little boy and praying that he and my husband will be safe while i'm gone for a week. I haven't left him overnight at all since he was born, so I'm really panicking about how I will handle being a week away from him. I'm sure that once I arrive there I will be okay. My best friend that I'm rooming with got a roaming package on her phone and she's letting me use it to text them so that makes me feel much better.
HOWEVER, I'm also worried about the cleaniness of my house when I leave. Not so much about my husband making a mess, he is having his family and maybe some friends over and I'm SO worried that my house will be contaminated and that I will have to clean it from top to bottom when I get home. He has assured me that he will clean everything up before I come home, but still, OCD never lets me rest. It really bothers me when I have company that comes over and keeps their shoes on in my house, and also when people walk out of the house without shoes and come back in. I try so hard to keep my floors clean, that it really bothers me. I don't have a dog, but people in my neighbourhood don't clean up after their pets, so I often find dog poop on my yard and it causes me to obsess about stepping in poop. So when people walk outside without shoes on and come back in, it really grosses me out. I start thinking there's dog poop in my house! 🙁 I really hope that my husband will say something to them. It's hard becuase that's not how he grew up. He grew up in the country and he always walked around wthout shoes…but I've ALWAYS worn shoes outside and took them off when I come in, so it's total opposite for us. I don't like how cold winter gets here in CAnada and all the snow, but one good thing about it is that people will automatically take off their shoes in my house during wintertime!
I love your blog – you are a very smart and brave woman who is fighting her OCD like a champ. Although you are about to embark on some major events, I admire you. You are so much farther ahead of your OCD than I am, and reading the things you are going to be able to do, like travel and trust your husband with your baby, give me such hope that I too, will someday be as functioning as you. You have given me hope and I thank you. I also share the shoes in the house thing – I actually gave away our beloved dogs because of them coming in and out of the house with potential contamination on their paws – I am broken hearted and know that one day it will hit me what I have done by giving them away all beause of this ocd. You are an inspiration……everything will be fine and you will come back from this trip even stronger and confident and be able to kick even MORE ocd butt!!!!!!
Marnella: I'm so sorry that you had to give away your beloved dogs. That must have been and continues to be so hard for you. please don't give up and continue to fight this OCD. Try to remember that we don't choose to have this disorder and it's not somthing that we can control. Our actions are based on what our mind feels is the right thing to do. Hang in there! We can all get through this together. Thank you for your encouragement and I'm so thankful that I was able to inspire you. It really makes me feel that I can do it when others see what I am doing and see success, so thank you.
Jemily: thanks for the suggestion. It's a great one ! And thank you for your continual support! I hope you are well.