i know this sounds ridiculous.  my dad wants me to sell an accordian online for him, so it is at my house.  my wife's family comes over, and i'm playing around on it.  i ask my sister in law if she wants to try it, she says yes.  while i'm holding it for her to put the 2 straps on, i'm having all kinds of obsessive thoughts going on.  i have been obsessing about this nonstop for almost 3 days.  i suffer mostly from pocd, but also anything sexual in general.  i feel like i have done something wrong.  in my past, i'll admit…i was touchy, but now i wouldn't want to do anything that would hurt my relationship, and just as much, i wouldn't want to do anything to increase my ocd.  i've been ruminating with thoughts such as, did i intentionally walk over there so i could put this on her and it would press against her breasts…or did i do it to mean something sexually to her or to me?  most of the time, i have thoughts before i do anything, like hug someone or something….but i move forward because it is kind of like fighting my ocd i guess….so i remember having some kind of thought before i walked toward my sister in law.  while i was putting it on, there was the thought of something like "this is touching her breasts', but i can't always tell if it's ocd or not, or i wonder did i hold it up longer than i should, or did i intentionally push it toward her breast, or push the instrument to her more than once.  i think it is maybe ocd, because i notice every sensation now, and that is a familiar part of it.  I hope this makes sense.  Anyway, i need help, it's been really bothering me and i feel really guilty, like i've done something wrong.  have I? or does this sound like ocd?  thanks for any input on this

  1. ancientgeekcrone 10 years ago

    Are you journaling these obsessions  per episode, until the energy is gone?  When you're with others and can't journal right then and there do you shift your focus to measured breathing, as a means of control?

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  2. Nahoah 10 years ago

      Hi Emorym Here are some things I try to use with my intrusive thoughts. 1. Admit to yourself that while the act itself may or may not have been wrong (only you know if you were hoping it would touch her breasts or not) it's not ok to obsess over it. What's done is done, you can't go back in time to change it but you can work to never let it happen again. You are stronger then those thoughts, you control them, you can't let them control you. The more guilt you feel the more likely you are to just want to give in to these thoughts and act on them, remember you can't let that happen. If you act on the thoughts then you will have done something wrong. 2. When the thoughts come into your mind say…No I Will Not Think About This! whether out loud or to yourself in your mind and then say stop and move on to number 3, always remember that the more you try to stop thinking about something, the more intrusive it will become so instead of trying so hard to stop, admit to yourself that it is there and then try to move on. Try to replace those thoughts with something you find desirable like…3. Make a list of all those who are effected by what you do, put their pictures next to their names and look at the list every time intrusive thoughts enter your head. Realize thoughts are artificial we all have them, they only become a problem when acted upon or obsessed about. don't let the list make you feel guilt, that's not what it is for, it's instead a reminder of reality, the love, real love you have in your life. It's an anchor to bring you back to reality, remember how much you love them and they love you (Make your wife the only one you're attracted to on the list). 4. Try to stay away from anything that might make you think these thoughts watch only wholesome tv, read wholesome uplifting books and try not to be alone as much as possible. When you get up in the morning don't lay in bed thinking, instead look at your wife and think about how much you love her or just get up and do something. 5. Remember how much you love your wife and that well, she's your wife you can have all the fantasies you want about her. She may even let some come true. 6. Talk to someone you trust when you have these problems…your wife, a church leader, a therapist. It sounds like this is an ongoing struggle for you and therefore you may want to see a therapist, they are there to help and insurance does sometimes cover ocd. I myself am a very religious man so the bishop in my ward is the person who has helped me through problems. 7. Don't put yourself in any position that may cause these thoughts, try not to hug women outside of your family, stay away from porn and strip clubs, etc. 8. This one helps me but again I'm very religious. I pray a lot, not always get down on your knees praying and not the same prayer, I talk to God from my heart and tell him I'm sorry for the thoughts that I had or am having and ask him to help me get through my problem. I know in my heart he's there for me and therefore I don't feel alone in that trial. Lastly again I'll say it again this may be a problem you can't overcome alone and a therapist can help you monitor your progress and find your specific weakness. It does sound like it could be ocd but that is a diagnosis only a professional can make. while you may not have done anything wrong this time (it doesn't sound to me like you have and if you did you need to move past it and stop obsessing) don't wait to seek help until you have done something wrong. Good luck man, God bless and whether you believe in God or not i'll say a prayer for you.

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