Even though I only live 2 1/2 hours away from you, it feels like I may as well be galaxies away. I may as well be a stranger. All six of us were separated when we got thrust into foster care, but I was lucky enough to be put into a home with our other sister. She was my best friend growing up, I even moved in with her after I graduated. But then we had to stay with you for a while to try and get back up on our feet, and while I truly am grateful for having somebody to let us sleep on the living room floor while we tried to find a job, I feel that you resent us because the two of us "comprimise" your sense of…stability? When the day came that you let your "friend" get in my face and tell me that I was nothing, I would never amount to anything while you just stood there, hurt more than I can ever explain. You just sat there, watching. And then you said the same thing yourself. I did everything that you asked. I was out of the house every day looking for a job to try and get my own home, but I guess that wasn't enough. The day that you kicked myself, my pregnant sister and her two year old daughter out on the street with nowhere to go, changed how I felt about you. We were just as scared as you were but the lucky thing for you is that you already had a home. So, I had to go live with my aunt and couch surf like an unwanted bum, and my sister was yet again taken away from me, by YOU. I don't know if I can ever forgive you for separating me from my best friend, the one who protected me when our grandmother started to hit us, when our grandfather and uncle did the same thing that we were taken out of our homes for in the first place. And you were only 30 minutes away our entire childhood and we only saw you a handful of times. She was my EVERYTHING and you took her away from me, and made her do your bidding. Fast forward six years, and I still haven't been able to see my sister face to face because oddly enough, the sister I WANT to see, is thousands of miles away, while the one who I feel like I have no connections to, is only a short drive away. How is that for irony? I tried to come see you once, but you pretended you weren't home. why? I don't understand what about me repulses you so much. What is it about me that makes you feel that I am going to threaten your livlihood? I guess I'll never know. It hurts so much, having so much to say, wanting to share so much with you but I feel like I don't even know you anymore.
If she were to respond, what would she say?
I honestly don’t know. I wish I knew her well enough to try and guess, but.. From what I’ve gathered the last couple of years, after she went to college and took a bunch of courses in psychology and whatnot (she plans on working with at risk youth) , it seems like she’s a mini-shrink. If that makes any sense at all. I’m not even sure what I would say if the shoe were on the other foot. Most of the time I wonder if she’s ashamed of me for something.