So today I made the mistake of bringing skittles as a snack to my study group session. Me and three other people study college algebra every Tuesday and Thursday night in the library or somewhere on campus.
When I eat skittles or any other candy like that m&ms; stuff like that, I always sort them in color groups and make sure there are an even number of candies in each color group. I usually end up giving away most of the bag trying to get rid of the extra candies that throw off the groups. So tonight I did just that and then was left with the task of deciding how to eat them, what order and how many. I usually eat them according to the colors of the rainbow (red, orange, yellow, green, purple) and always try to leave an even number in each group. So I did decide eventually (with some help from my comrades who think i'm insane, but just LOVE a good distraction from homework), to eat all the orange skittles – leaving 4 piles instead of 5 AND each pile was then combined into two groups of opposite colors, ; (a green/red pile and a yellow/purple pile). I felt pretty accomplished BUT then had to decide which pile to eat first, SO I was going to flip a coin – but couldn't pick which pile should be heads and which should be tails. So my friend flips a coin determining the result of which pile will be heads on the real coin flip, determining what pile gets eaten first. I can be very indecisive.
45min after opening the bag I had finally gotten a system down for eating skittles – and no homework was done. My friends don't know I really do have OCD but they might have an idea now. This is just the kind of distractions my mind goes through every bloody day. Today's was taken a little more light-hearted than most. I know you probably have a headache just from reading it – but it's my thought process. I DID feel acomplished afterward and yet – a little angry once I realized my OCD had taken over a good 45min chunck of my life, which kinda made me mad/depressedd/hopeless. Anyone ever have that? You do a compulsion and at first feel better – til you realize you just lost another battle? Thoughts? Comments? I'm hoping if anything you at least got a laugh out it.
Til next time!
~Mike
I totally know that feeling of feeling accomplished at first and then completely regretting carrying out the compulsion. Sometimes that regret, at least for me, leads to another compulsion. It stinks. It happens a lot with my mental compulsions.
I have always wondered about the ocd thing. Such a broad spectrum. Some people such as yourself, have compulsions. I have obsessions, bad thoughts, hypochondria, doubt and over analyzing. I wonder alot if i even have ocd or if im really just that wierd lol. But yeah my thoughts take up alot of my day.
Resist the compulsion and do the homework. When you begin resisting and reqalise the world is still in tact, it should help you resist even more. I suggest, you get a hold of a copy of Brain Lock and see if it helps.
I also sometimes have compulsions when eating. When I'm eating a bag of barbecue Chex Mix, I like to pour the whole thing into a bowl, pick out all of the pieces with the most barbecue on them, and put the rest of the pieces back in the bag. I then eat the ones with the most barbecue on them
I know it's so crazy what OCD can do…. A couple weeks ago I spent 2 hours going through EVERY part of my room and throwing away anything that had purple on it. And that was A LOT of important stuff in the trash..
I rarely do buy those kinds of candy for that reason. I just had a monster craving for them and always take for granted what a task it is to actually eat them. I just can't get past the idea of mixing the candies together. All the colors mixed up, all the – just – disorder of it all!
But you are right. I suppose it is rather rediculous not to be able to relax doing something as simple as eating candy. I don't know why it freaks me out – and thats whats so frustrating. It makes no sense and I know that, but for some reason when I encounter something like that all reason goes out the door for a minute and I just can't relax til those GD candies are sorted.
Thanks for all the comments folks! =)