Wow, I cannot believe it's now my second night sleeping here! Time just flew by! It's still sort of unreal for me right now. We went grocery shopping for the first time, spent $200! I knew groceries were expensive.

We just purchased knives, too, since we know we're going to need them. When I was a little, due to my harm OCD fear, I never thought I'd ever purchase them … I told myself that if I got rid of them, my fear would displace as the fear of stabbing somebody is my main fear. I agreed knives were an asset. We'll see how it goes. My boyfriend suggested keeping them in a hiding place from me at night (he doesn't think I'm harmful, but he thinks it'd help me sleep at night since my fear manifests normally during the night.) I think it's an avoidance behaviour to do that and I told him that maybe it's not the best idea.

Our new mattress has a tiny rip in it, too!!! So I'm sort of OCD-ing over it. My boyfriend thinks that it's fine and not an indication of the matresses overall quality. Since we got it so cheap (a queen-sized pillow-topped mattress at $450) I was concerned when we first bought it since it was so much cheaper than the ones at say, The Brick. Bought since we bought them from an outlet, I had thought perhaps the mattress would be of relatively safe quality and that the price was more so they could get rid of the ones they had. It felt fine! Harder than my bed back to my parent's, but it was pretty soft…The rip is near the side, a small tiny rip, it exposed a bit of the pillow part of the pillow top mattress. I'm not sure if I should just leave it and relax or demand a better one.

I had hoped to go to bed early today but it's 3:00 AM. Boyfriend is leaving early in the morning  to work, so tomorrow will be my first day alone here. (As I'm on unemployment currently.) Mom says she'll come see me during the day. I also have to clean cause my friend's birthday is tomorrow and I said she could do a pre-drink here with some of our close friends (3) and 2 of her good friends. I guess it's breaking this place in?

Still sort of missing my Dad. Hope he's doing alright – not worrying over me when I'm totally fine as of now. It's just the OCD I have to concern myself with.

I'm glad we have these blogs here. It's nice to documents my thoughts late at night and in a *mostly* none-judging atmosphere!


  1. Mooseinacanoe 13 years ago

    Seems like things are going well for you =). May be a lil akward for a while. The bed is a nice touch though, mine is like sleeping on a brick as well. I think if i were to fall on it, it would knock the breath outta me. As for the knives thing yeah I have close to the same problem. I ve this wierd feeling alot of times i am gonna loose control of myself and it scares me. I got rid of any guns in my house when i became kinda explosive and unpredictable but i have always had an angry attitude which you dont seem to have. I think you are gonna be just fine. Sounds really uplifting to hear of new things going on in peoples lives for the better. take care.

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  2. ancientgeekcrone 13 years ago

    I'm glad you found us too!

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