For work I help adults with disabilities at three different houses. Part of my job is to sleepover at the house from 10pm to 6am or midnight to 8am. I used to really enjoy the free time at night and to be paid for it too! I thought it was awesome! But then I got anxiety. Overnight. Just BAM there it was. The trigger was a boyfriend. Long story. Anywho… So then I HATED sleepovers. Despised them. Didn\'t think I could do them anymore. That was probably two years ago? I went into intensive (once a week $120/hr sessions) therapy and she told me that anxiety must not be allowed to take away the things you enjoy in life. So if I wanted to beat anxiety I would have to keep my sleepovers and keep doing them. It was bad news for me but I could see her point and I understood the necessity of continuing. I\'ve made such amazing progress these past two years and slowly it\'s been getting better and better! I just noticed this month that I can finally sleep!! I can get into bed, lay my head down and close my eyes and concentrate on sleep! It\'s brilliant. It snuck up on me that I didn\'t even realize how easy the nights have become. I had a rough time half way through this semester. (Sept-Dec) I was apprehensive about school and was worried about the stresses it would put on me. But it proved to be easy! Much easier than I expected and one week in the middle is nothing! Anxiety is part of everyone\'s lives and it comes and goes and I think it was just a regular spout of not much consequence. But the point is… Taking that step into school was the final barrier. The final limitation that anxiety was holding over me and I fucking broke through the last wall and into fucking freedom. Feeling very very good about it right now 🙂 it\'s now an enemy I have defeated and I know the strategy and I know I can\'t lose.
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I'm crazy.
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