Its been a long road to where I am today, with a lil way to go … I have been on what feels like a week long anxiety attack.
All this started 13 yrs ago … I, for no reason, started hyperventilate. Panicked. Was rushed to the er … they ran test, looked me over from head to toe, gave me some strong shots and sent me home. For the next 9 months or so, I went from 125 lbs to 90 lbs. I couldnt eat. Fear gripped me like never before.
This went on and on and on … So many different drs it aint even funny … I lived everyday in what I call the darkness. I have never felt so along, so far away from God.
My kids were younger, my oldest became Mom to the youngest. It strained them to the max. It ended up ruining a 23 yr marriage.
I struggled for an answer. Finally was taken to Vanderbilt Hospital. They diagnosed me with Graves Disease. I finally had a name to what was wrong. Or so I thought.
Now, 11 yrs after having my thyroid removed, I feel as though I am having thyroid storms all over again.
I feel, most of the time, that I cant breath right, tight chest muscles, fearful thoughts …
I was divorced for 6 yrs, started drinking and goin from man to man … nothing helped.
9 months ago, while sitting in a bar drinking, I met my high school sweetheart again after 32 yrs … we are now engaged to be married.
My oldest son moved to Michigan, my youngest joined the Marines. He is in boot camp now with 5 weeks to go.
I am sober 9 months, back in church … only God could have delivered me from the drinking … and I know that I know it was God that brought me and Roger back together.
Now I have this amazing life with the man I love and what happens? The anxiety, panic attacks, whatever it is starts full force.
Storms … of some kind are ruining my life. I have missed so much work, its a miracle I still have a job.
I have read, read and read some more all sorts of stuff on anxiety, panic attacks, adrenal fatigue, etc.
Had all kinds of test, which I am thankful that they came out good … problem? I still dont know whats wrong or how to fix it.
I just keep praying and reading my Bible, goin to church when I can …
Not sure what I expect from here except to find some comfort, friends who understand and one day be able to help someone else.
Well, in a nut shell, there it is … my life as of now …
My daily scripture: Psalms 118:17 "I will not die but live,
and will proclaim what the Lord has done."
Praying for all … nite nite …