Well I had a panic attack today because my mom got angry at me after I shut off my brother’s computer because he wasn’t listening to me. She scared both of us, threatening with violence and throwing a fan across the room, complete with screaming at the top of her lungs and calling me manipulative as the cherry on top. She thinks I’m trying to make people feel bad for me, which I guess I can understand why she thinks that. At the same time, I’m not my father, and I actually hate it when people pity me because I’m suicidal and I already see myself as a nuisance and a trash human being. I apologized to my brother and we both got over it, so why the hell does she have to get herself involved with something that has nothing to do with her? Now my stepdad gonna come home pissed, and he gets aggressive when he’s angry. I’m supposed to avoid stressful situations, but I can’t do that when everyone in the house triggers my anxiety and panic attacks constantly. I don’t know. I’m such a crybaby. Anyway, I joined this website today because some counselor on the suicide hotline recommended me to. I hope it helps, as my therapist got fired and I need some other coping mechanism or I might actually go crazy.

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