so this is the first blog, and im kind of anxious to write something but im hoping that this will help me out. so ive been dealing with a constant feeling of unhappiness for quite a while. however, i really cant pinpoint why i feel this way on one thing. i have a seeming good life, a nice house, family, friends, a job, and a prospective future. to most it seems like i have no reason to really be upset but i feel like all these things are just an illusion. i feel like the first reason why i am not hapy is my selfesteem. i feel like i have none at all. i look at myself every morning in the mirror and thing im gross, people always tell me im tiny and pretty but those things seem to have no effect on me. ive delt with bulimia for about 2 years now and i dont rely on it too much anymore, but its still something im fighting with day to day. i really need to figure out how to control myself, and love my self. i seem to have no self control when it comes to eating, and no more motivation when it comes to working out. i just need to reprogram my mind into believing that i cant be healthy and fit and love myself for the way i am. another reason why i feel i cant be happy is because of my family and friends. my whole life ive felt like no one has had any interest in me, and that im just an annoyance to the people around to me. and since ive felt this way my whole life ive pushed myself away from people and avoided getting too close so that people dont get annoyed with me. for the past year ive relyed totally on my ex boyfriend who i am still really close to. i feel like i can tell him anything and everything. however, he’s reached his breaking point and become completely distant from me. he tells me all the time what i need to do to get help but i am so scared to do the things he says. this time im bound to change, but i feel like he’s totally givin up on me and doesnt believe me anymore. im hoping i can prove him wrong. the only reason why we’re not together is because i am so unhappy with my life. i guess those are pretty much the big reasons why im so unhappy. but they all are thigns i can easily work on achieve with some motivation.
(sorry about spelling and punctuation errors lol)