Hello everyone![br][br]I'm just keeping my thoughts straight by blogging.  This entry is more for myself, but feel free to read it if you want. Smile[br][br]I'm still not drinking or abusing drugs.  I still haven't smoked a cigarette since last Tuesday (the hardest part of my new healthy lifestyle).  I'm now down to three Xanax a day, but I won't reduce anymore until I have a doctor's help.  I'm down to half a cup of coffee a day and will switch to decaf soon (I need to quit caffeine due to my anxiety disorder, high blood pressure, and kidney problems).[br][br]And now I'm starting to exercise again – WHEW!  Before I went down the downward spiral of alcohol and drugs, I used to be able to walk 5 miles at a fast clip.  Now I'm happy to sqeak out .5 miles.[br][br]But it's a start, and I need to pace myself.[br][br]I appreciate the concern some have that I'm making too many changes all at once.  I can understand your reasoning.  But I've always been an over-achiever, and I know myself too well.  If I don't make a clean break from my unhealthy lifestyle, I know I will slip back into my old routine.[br][br]I suppose I view my new life of sobriety as a rebirth, or a second chance to get my life right.  I've made a lot of bad choices the past 5 years, and I'm fortunate to still be alive and never had to go to prison or the hospital.[br][br]So here I am, doing better than I have in years.  But I remain cautious and know that I'm not "cured."  There will be many challenges down the road for me, and it's up to me to learn how to cope chemical-free.[br][br]Thanks again for all the support – I hope I can return it as time goes by![br][br]Best wishes to all![br]Drake (Shan)


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