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Its Monday. My weekend was fleeting and I don't think I got enough sleep. I'm one of those people who needs a lot of sleep or I don't feel good. Yesterday I was depressed all day. Today I don't feel anything. That is just as bad as feeling depressed. I take a vinyasana class every Monday after work, so I'm hoping that it will help me come back to my emotions. In most cases this class does good for me, must be all that internal focus that helps me. Since I'm taking OMEGA3 and my mood isn't balancing out my therapist has recommended that I do 2 doses one day and then 1 the next to see if that gives me some relief. <shrugs> My husband is concerned about me since I have been feeling depressed a lot more lately. I know he feels helpless when it comes to my depression. I do wish that I could figure out how to get out of the depression tunnel I'm in and that my husband didn't have to worry about me as much. I think that part of my depression is due to my 'day' job. If you read my journal/blog entries on any regular basis I'm sure you are already aware that I don't like my job. Why do I continue to come here? Money and benefits..plain and simple. In my role here I'm not seen as a value to the company and I'm merely the go-fer for everyone else. I don't have enough work that engages me to help me feel that I am accomplishing something by being here for atleast 45 hours per week. I know everyone I work with in this facility but I can say that I'm not friends with any of them. There are some people that I chat with but its never really about me..its about them. I put on my 'happy' facade because really none of these people could comprehend how I really feel, I mean honestly I don't know how to deal with how I feel. I have the type of personality that I need to achieve things in my day to fill fulfilled in how I have used my day. I want to apologize for my random rambling, I'm just writing what comes to me. I could so go to sleep right now..I must do something to keep me going. I hope that Tuesday will great me with more energy and upbeat feelings. Thanks for reading what I had to say.


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