I'm kind of down today, but I'm fighting hard to bring my mood up. I really aggravated with my work right now, they gave me a total of 4 hours for the week! I might as well find another job if this is how's it going to be. But Zachary and I talked quite a bit last night and this morning and he definitely does not want to continue camp, so this will be his last week there. Again, there's no sense in spending the money that we could really use on something he's come to dislike so much. Tomorrow willat least be fun for him, they're going on a fieldtrip to one of his favorite places. It has mini-golf, go cart racing, an arcade and many other things for him to do. I've got to remember to sunscreen him before he leaves tomorrow.

I had another rough night of sleep last night. We all stayed up late watching "Batman; The Beginning" and didn't go to bed until 11 p.m. But all of us watched it together, including my mom, so to me that counts as family time. I didn't want Zach watching it alone because it's got some scary stuff in it. He did fine though.

As for the rough sleep, my husband was tossing and turning, both cats were on the bed with us and the dog was trying to sleep between my knees (she's really too big for that ~ it feels like my hips are coming out of their sockets). I gave up and went upstairs to sleep on the couch. By then it was midnight. I didn't wake, but this morning my husband woke me up at 6:30 a.m. and I feel almost like I didn't sleep at all. So I'll have to take a nap at some point today (as if that's anything outside of the norm).

Last night was the first night Zachary slept in his own bed since what happened with Corey. I was relieved to see him do that and be okay since that's where it happened. I'm considering moving his room around so that it doesn't remind him of the incident. I'll probably do that this weekend or early next week when he can have a say in where things go. I want him to be comfortable in his own room, and I don't want him to be reminded of what happened.

I finally got him an appointment with his therapist, but it's not till next Thursday which really pisses me off. He needs to see her as soon as possible, but they don't take into account the severity of a situation, it has to go by who's already got an appointment ahead of you. That's such b.s.! My son needs to talk to his therapist NOW.

I've been trying to move forward as normally as possible given the situation, but my mind keeps churning it over and over. Should I call DCF to make a case against Corey's father being unfit for parenting due to what happened and all that transpires in that household? Maybe it would get him the counseling he needs…and maybe get him out of the damned house and away from his father! I'm also afraid of letting Corey spend ANY time with Zachary, and that's going to be problematic since we spend so much time with our best friends and their kids. How do I keep him safe without destroying our friendships? I just don't know what to do!

I think maybe one of my friends is right ~ maybe his desire not to go to camp anymore is a manifestation of what happened. Maybe what he really wants and isn't telling me is that he needs to feel protected and doesn't there. Whatever the cause, camp is over. I'll have to change my schedule for work, but I don't care. His well-being is so much more important than ANY job, much less one that I get hardly any hours at anyhow.

Today to get my mind off things I'm going to watch "Perks of Being a Wallflower", which is supposed to be a great movie. Then I might go to a thrift shop that I've been wanting to check out for months just to look and see what they've got. Getting out of the house helps me deal with depression better.

Today is turning out to be a pretty day. It's still in the upper 80's but we've got low humidity right now and a really nice breeze. My Mom is actually out mowing the lawn.

Our ducklings have finally fledged completely. Mom left them a few days ago and they were on their own. At first they stuck together, but as the days pass another 1 or 2 break off from the group and fly off. All of them can fly now. So sad to see them grow up so fast, but grateful to have the chance to watch it progress.

Well if I'm going to watch my movie I better do it. Sooner than I know it will be time to go get Zach from camp. My best wishes to all of you today.

1 Comment
  1. Andie372 9 years ago

     It is a little suspicious Zach wanting to withdraw from camp right after the Corey thing.  You are a good mother, taking care of his needs and putting him first.  

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