:sad:I am in love with a man who does not love me back. And it hurts very much . We were together for 3 whole years. and then he just uped and left for las vegas. and left me high and dry in chicago ( though I feel in love with the city and want to move back there so much it hurts ) I feel like im “Kuenstliche Welten” which means in english artificial world . I feel like Im living in an artificial world. like this is not supose to be my life . not real, not me. :dizzy: I try to make it me , but I can never get it right , somthing always goes wrong and I end up in a panic. now Im off subject. back to my ex. he hurt me by leaving me alone and cold. and he knew I had a mental illness too. he just left and it just messed me up so much . I mean im better for it now I supose, but I miss him so much it hurts sometimes. I have lived and lerned to move on .. but sometimes in the back in my head I still want him. I dont like being alone, it sucks ass. and all the other men I fall for are overseas or more mentally Ill then me ior live in group homes . Its hopeless 🙁 Ive been sleeping alone in a bed for a long time now ( over a year ) and it gets cold .. my stuffed dog is the only thing that keeps me company ( which is really pathedic ) so I cuddle with a stuffed animal big whoopie . also its been cold outside and its snowing like mad hell . cold makes me depressed and unahppy . and look im going on about nothing now . oh well cheers for now