I'm so sick of all these money issues and shit. Ever since my brother stole all of my mom's money, it's hard for her to keep this house. OUR house. I can't explain it any better. It's the perfect house, and my room is perfect. It took me two years to set it up exactly the way I wanted it and it may not have any expensive electronics and things but it's MINE. My friends have put in their own memories into my door and my window and I just can't imagine leaving this place behind. But my mom has found an apartment. After her adding in my grandma's dog and my brother's cat(if she decides on the cat) it will be $1350 a month. We are paying $1450 a month here. -.- Great savings mom. But since I will be leaving to Washington by the time she is finished moving(or should I say me finished moving her shit cause she's a lazy whore), she doesn't want my dog or my cat inside her apartment. So either we pay extra to bring my puppy with me and maybe my cat, or she just thinks we should dump them at someone else's house so she doesn't have to pay that extra shit. I have a great connection with my pets, I know some people think that's stupid, that they're just animals but they've been here for me in unthinkable ways and they're always around when I'm upset. That's more than what I can say for my mom. Anyways, it's so stressful because she wants me to start selling all my shit so SHE can have money when she's gone. Um, hello. I'm moving to a completely new state where the only people I know are the one's I'm living with. I'm going to need money obviously. And the people don't want me to smoke cigarettes because they have a baby. I understand that and I'll respect their wishes but only by so much. I need to smoke. I can't drink or do drugs because of my probation status so the legal, stress relieving things I'm gonna need are cigs. Especially losing my pets. It's all fucked. My dad's not pitching in at all and as far as he's considered(as I've heard from my brothers) he could care less whether I'm gone and neither can they. I am so sick of family. I can depend more on my 93 year old grandma and she barely talks. FUCK them all. I'm going to lose all my prized possessions. I'm just gonna have to move on I've been told. My chest feels like something heavy is pushing into it when I think of all the great friends I will be leaving. All the great memories. It's hard for me to cry but now the tears are coming freely.This is just a rant. I hate my life.

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