Im mostly writing on here because i feel like talking, and have no one left to listen. Im hoping ive finally gotten to the point where things cant get any worse, if there is such a place. For years my life was complicated. I was a manic-depressive child with ADHD, anddislexia who went through life relying on a great memory and a above average aptitude. My parents believed in creating a perfect family and held me to the standards of perfection, everything i did could have been done better. For years i attempted to impress my parents, my senior year i got a A+ on a report card, had a 3.8 gpa, worked 30 hours a week (max amount my job could give me), hung out with friends on my 2 or 3 days off a week, and was a member of the fire department. Life was difficult and my parents were never impressed all i ever heard was negative comments and critisizms. As most children would do in that situation i figured my parents didnt like me, i was a bastard child my mother had when she was 18 and i still remember meeting my step dad for the first time. If anything i was just a reminder of a bad memory. I never expected it to go as far as being told to leave. One day before my graduation party, two days before graduation i was in my room early in the morning when i was told i was lazy and it was unacceptable, i was told i dont do anything around the house and that i had to leave. I wasnt a very confrontational child, mostly because my parents had no problem hitting me when they thought i was being argumentative. So i packed my things into boxes and moved them into my car. Before i left my aunt managed to talk to my mother and informed me i could stay till graduation day, mostly because she didnt want me to miss my party and graduation. So after those 2 days i went with my aunt 2 states away. I had to call and quite my job on the spot, the manager didnt mind too much considering the situation. Thats how i found myself in a new place, with a pos car, no income,and low on medication.My luck was incredible and i found a job and started within 2 weeks, it wasnt the greatest but it was money and no taxes were taken out. a few weeks later i also got another job at a store. In all i only had to go a about a week without antidepressants, i had enough vyvance. I havent actually gottten paid by the store yet, i have almost enough money to pay for my insurance on the 1st, im still not sure what im going to do about that. I make maybe $100 a week, which isless than i made at my job before i moved. Im a burdon on my aunt, i feel terrible about it. I cant make enough money to support myself and my parents dont want me, im not really sure what you do in that situation other than give up and die. Ive been accepted to 2 colleges, a tech school and a university, both are2 states away. I found asmall college with a free application near here and applied there because i didnt have money to apply other places. I then found out i needed a ACT score with writing portion, i didnt take the writing portion. Now im not sure what the next step is other than either find a way to take the test or just not go. I have to see my mother tomorrow and i really have no reason to want to, i hate her, she took my life, my friends, my job, my futureeducation,and left me with no where to go but 2 states away. On the bright side i get to see my 2 siblings who are much younger than i am. At first i was told that they were going to stay here with me for half a week, i was looking forward to it for about a week before today when i was told they were not. Then i was told that my mother would think about it. Shes managed to take everything including my hope. I feel guilty for living, for making her life bad enough that shed think that i deserve this. for staying with my aunt and eating here because my mother didnt want me anymore because i wasnt a good enough child. Ive been almost constantly angry for the past month. Only stopping for a day at most to settle into a temporary depression.


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