I don't know what's worse, going through the superlows of depression itself, or dealing with the aftermath of it..?

After being in such a horrible phase for months, I've been trying to better myself. I'm looking for a job, working on my appearance, trying to control my temper, and trying to work on my classes.

I'm so behind in all of my classes.. And I have exams this week.. One I missed because I didn't know where it was, and I knew none of the material. I know this makes me look bad, but I couldn't find the courage to ask where it would be, then embarress myself becasuse I don't know what I'm doing..

And I have an exam tomorrow morning that I haven't been able to study for, and I don't even really know the material in that class either.. The exam is pure essays, I wouldn't even know what I'm talking about.. And I can't cram tonight because I stopped taking the medicine for my neck so the pain is beyond reasonable, so I really can't focus on anything, or even bend my neck down to look at my notes..

I guess I'm trying to talk myself out of taking that exam as well..

I'm trying so hard to dig myself out of this hellhole, but no matter how hard I try, something keeps pulling me back in..

Either It's a horrible situation, or the karma of missing so many classes..

Ugh! I don't know what to do.. My work is piling up, but I don't know how to fix it. I'm going to attempt to focus more on my schooling, but I have to get past these exams first..

It's not like I can tell my professors that I've been experiencing problems with depression.. They'd probably just say I should've seen someone about it.

I Haven't Had TheTime. Nor the resources.

Ahhhhhh. The stress.