So its the second week of being of living in my uni house, but only just half way through my first week of uni and a lot has happened so far, and I'm really trying to cope with it all, but I'm finding it hard. I have this unshakable anxiety in the pit of my stomach and lodged in my throat.

Alex and I had a big discusion about our realationship on friday, and he told me how he was feeling, which transpired to be that he was really unhappy in the relationship and felt that he couldnt make me happy untill he sorted himself out, and he said the same was true of me. Which I guess he's right on, because I've been in a bad place for the last few weeks, what with all the changes.

He also felt that I'm too clingy, too needy, I rely on him too much, I put alot of presure on him, I'm moody and depressive. And he said that made him feel useless and like he was my carer instead of my boyfriend. This was really hard to hear, that I'd put him in that position and made him feel that way. So we've both been taking this time to ourselves and make ourselves happier before we carry on with our relationship. So in response to all of this, I'm starting counselling again next week, I'm back up to 30mg of Citalopram, I've enroled in a gym which I'm going to go to 3/4 times a week. Today will be my second time since joining on Monday. I've also gone to every lecture, plus I've been talking to my dad almost everyday using him for support. I've only text alex; 1x Friday, 2x Monday and 1x Today [wednesday]. Thats it. Ive had one text from him on Monday.

Its making me really anxious thats he's realised he's better off with out me and when we finally do speak he'll tell me that he wants to leave me. I dont want to contact him as I'm now really worried about seeming clingy or needy. But I'm going away tomorrow till sunday and I just wanted to speak to him before I went away…, Not sure what to do… :s

xox