Lately my mind has been so jumbled up with things I need to think about, stuff I need to sort through. To be honest I haven’t been on this site in maybe six years. This will be my way of dealing with the shit storm that has left me where I am today.

Uh. Hi. You can call me Deora…or daydreamer114 I suppose. Deora is probably better. I am 19 years old and have been to more doctors than the years I’ve been alive. I’ve had depression for eight years and everything else for about 7. To sum it up there’s something wrong with my heart, my brain, my immune system, and maybe my thyroids? I dunno, that one I’ve never been to sure about. Let’s go ahead and count that out. I don’t want to describe everything that’s wrong with me although I’m sure it will come up.

I used to be in college. Or I guess I still am…or not right now? In the first semester of my second year my health got so bad I had to withdraw from school. So here I am now, back in my parent’s house a couple states away and realizing what I just lost. College was the best time for me because it was the closest I’ve ever come to feeling normal, to being healthy. But I’m here now. Back to the parents who fuel my depression, the schedule that drives me mad with boredom, and the silence that makes me want to cry. But at least I have my cat again 🙂

So yeah. That’s where I am right now in my lifetime. I think I’ll go into more details in various other posts. They will probably all be from tonight anyway…

Riamh Dearmad