I’ve waited a bit to post this blog because I know depression has a funny way of sneaking up on you just after you tell everyone you are doing great. But I am optimistic about life now.
I’m not saying life is perfect but I seem to be enjoying it now. I’ve been keeping really busy and some times I feel a bit overwhelemed. I also find myself thinking of the future and being a bit anxious. But for the most part I have been able to control my moods for a while now. I believe it is a combination of the Celexa, California Sunshine, and the lack of a crazy relationship. BTW I’m officially chaning my relationship status to single.
I’m pretty confident that I will be staying in California. I haven’t made a final decision and so I havn’t told anybody back home. In order to stay I would have to get into a Game Developing Studio down here first. I’ve already been searching. I’m dead broke right now so I will most likely take whatever clerical job the temp agency finds me for now but I am really optimistic and think it is just a matter of time before finding another game testing job. My main concern is balancing school and work since school has been my life for the last week and a half and I’m worried about how I will react to going back to a hectic schedule of work and school. But I will deal with all that when it comes.
The only other topic that comes to mind is one that I have been bringing up since I got here. I’m still not finding any friends. It sounds kinda pathetic but I’m really a shy person until I get to know people. Plus I’m really busy and broke as it is… could I really handle new relationships right now? I know I am focusing on myself right now. Doing well in school and at work (when I get a job) are my main goals but there are times when I feel a bit lonely or antisocial. I just want everybody around me to know I am a fun person and I have a lot of good qualties… just no time to connect with anyone. But I’ll be patient… you never know what life has in store for you.
I hope everyone else is doing well. I’m worried about my new friend on here, Fran. She’s a great girl and I can relate to her so much. I just hope she realizes life gets better and that we can survive breakups… I am living proof!
Peace & Love DT bloggers… Thanks for reading.