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The worst part of my day is over. I got up at 7:00, threw on some half-way decent business clothes, and made it to my meeting on time. I was nervous and clumsy and I know I made a terrible impression but at least I survived. I'm nervous about the amount of work I have though. All I can do is try my best but I did mention being nervous to my boss so he's at least aware of there being a potential problem.

I messaged NG to say good morning not expecting any kind of answer. I haven't gotten one but it's okay, he messaged me last night after I sent him that "joke" so I guess contact hasn't been cut. I tried to add him on Facebook but he seems to be ignoring the request, either until he breaks up with his "ex or whatever" or indefinitely so I don't intend to message him for a while.

I feel better about my contact with X. I don't text nearly as much, a day or even a few days passes where I don't say anything. Then I just check in for the hell of it and he answers and then he goes silent like usual, no big deal. I'll never be with him and that's okay. He is who he is, I don't know what he's thinking or feeling but I don't ever expect to. Years from now, I'll probably still think about him at times and wonder what he's up to but I'm trying to move on. I'm off to kind of a bad start but whatever, I am contempating deleting my dating profile and calling it quits on the dating front. I'm also going to try to avoid Facebook more often so I'm not constantly trying to see if I have a shot with either of these guys, I put way too much work into this shit.


  1. depressednstressed 8 years ago

    the last paragraph sounds eerily similar to me…one guy who is always in the back of my mind annnd the facebook thing ugh…I gave up on the dating front already thank god

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  2. borntired 8 years ago

    i have to say i am glad i am not in the dating realm anymore (married 26 years). i think with all the social media it actually makes it harder to get to know people

    back in my day, pre computer, email, texting etc. heck we even had to pay huge amounts for long distance

    my husband and i talked once a week on the phone and wrote letters, they were precious. we learned a lot about one another. his silence was normal, we didn't and couldn't check in every day

    prayers for you finding someone who is good enough to make your best side shine brighter

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