So, i had a party tonight…i dunno if ive written about this yet. anyway had a party tonight, is a costume party, the day i go out and get material for my costume and get one part (an ear) done i get reminded that i have a wedding to go to that day, at 5:30 in the arvo (wtf) in the city (fuck no!!!). I dont even really know these people, they arent really my friends, we have nothing in common besides my partner. But i have to go. never mind that i loathe weddings and anything to do with marraige besides the amount of diamonds u get to wear, and Going to the city stresses me out majorly, i hate going to the city, i end up having a panic attack, theres just too many people and im too far away from my comfort zone if i need to be home (i always worry ill get sick or spill something on me or have a major wardrobe malfunction or anything like that and i know its gunna take me over an hour before i can get home to fix it – im told alot of people feel the same). Who the fuck gets married at 5:30 in the arvo in september in melbourne? its dark and cold and …..cold…really really cold…

 

So anyway, i have to go tonight, which makes me uneasy all day, cos im sitting here knowing i cant do anything i want to do, 1, cos thats just the way i am, i wont start anything if i know im gunna have to go somewhere or do something, ill do it after iv gone or done it, and 2 cos im gunna have to start getting ready in a few hours.

it kinda sounds selfish me bitching bout the fact that i have to go to a wedding. its not the fact that its a wedding, its just the effect doin things i dont want to do or have planned to dohave on me. its hard to explain. and im getting frusterated trying to…im gunna go and try and calm down my nerves.

 

 

2 Comments
  1. ZombieGirl 10 years ago

     The great thing about blogging on a site like this is that other people can point out things that ive become blind to. Patterns of behaviour ive just stopped fighting and given in to for so long that they just seem normal now. 

    I wont delete your comment, cos sometimes i need it pointed out to me. 

    thank you

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  2. swans 10 years ago

    I understand that about the wedding i had to miss my nieces christening, too down and couldnt face  talking to people.

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