A while ago I attempted suicide, I’ve also done self harm from time to time for release. I guess that sounds strange. Hurting ones shelf to feel better. I certainly haven’t had any luck explaining it to the people in my life. After the attempt I did a few weeks in the hospital and was told I needed to rely on the people in my life as a support network. Thing is no one wanted to face the fact that anything was wrong to begin with and after that fact they all started demanding to know exactly everything. Problem was they didn’t really want to hear it. Instead of the support network they are suppose too be when I told friends and family what was going on with me things that happened what was going on in my head and the things I had done I was treated like a criminal under the interrogation spotlight. With bad cop worse cop picking apart every lit thing I said twisting my words making no attempt to understand what I was trying to say only attacking me with accusatory tones and glares, like I was doing it all just to seek attention. After that experience I just shut down. Shut my mouth, locked up tight refusing to say anymore. Now they say “So how are doing?” “What’s up?” “How are things?” Fine… the only response they get… it’s the only one they want to hear. I’m falling apart, my heart is racing, my mind is screaming,…but as far as they are concerned I am fine. They get mad time to time when they realise I was not telling them the truth and ask why I did not tell them the truth or come to them when I was in crisis. How do you turn to someone that makes you feel on trial every time you open your mouth?