sooo..i'm pretty tired at the moment, but i thought i'd write about how things are going well. i have been going to a lot of meetings lately, and have been praying and reading the JFT and basic text more often. i have been trying to stay in today and trying to stay positive… ya know all the recommended things. lol and i got a job cleaning an NA member's house last night. i cleaned for only 1.5 hours and he paid me $80!! wow. i was like buddy that's too much!!! and he explained to me how it really helped him out and how he knows i needed it…and how that's what NA is all about….we all help eachother. i also was supposed to have an interview today at applebees..lol but they lost my application so i go back tomorrow. wish me luck! lol and……..things just keep getting better man….kristin will be home on saturday!!! i'm so freakin excited. she has been in rehab sine july 9th and i have not seen her since =( i have missed her so much and i really feel different when we aren't together. i feel like she's a part of me LOL and she has said the same thing. also, i have decided i am more than likely going to stay at her mother's with her….after talking to her mom like almost every single day for the past month, i thought since everyone seems to be ok with it , but me…i thought the only way i'd let myself stay with them is if i helped her mom clean and stuff….and make sure i'm not eating their food up lol so i gotta keep doing house cleaning jobs and whatever so i don't bum. =) i'm pretty happy. things right now are ok too… except i forgot to buy cigarettes today and i only have like 3 left and i'm going to be up a few more hours and i'll tell ya what i'm soo not about to walk to the nearest open store because it's creepy outside here. i got hit on like 3 times by weirdos on my way home from the meeting! i was like CAN YOU NOT SEE I'M ON THE PHONE?!   lol they probably mean well though ha i doubt it. anyways….lol i'm in the process of wondering if i should get a new sponser since the one i have had for over a year, i havent spoke to for awhile and quite frankly i believe she is sick of my shit!! soo i am keeping my eye open for that. i have been like ahh i need to call my sponser…then i'm like uhh … yea i keep forgetting. so this is always hard for me, i have had 3 sponsers, and one of them was telling people the shit i told her?? like not cool stuff….stuff i didn't even really want to tell her  but i thought was relevant…. but i know god will help me with that as well…i have hope and i have been realizing that i worry too much and how if i just stop worrying it will be so much easier… i mean life ….lol i worry WAY too much about things that i really don't even have any control over, especially my past….it's done, gone and now i'm here and i'm alive and clean, so whatever. =) but i learn from my mistakes…over and over and over again. i am starting to catch on lol i'm kinda a slow learner i guess.  i am going to go watch a movie i think….they have movies and stuff to watch for free at surfthechannel.com… pretty cool =) lol peace <3