I've been in a relationship wit a man of 3yrs that stole my heart. After only 4months I was in love. I'm a single mother of 3. I work everyday to provide for me kids. Well to speed up I met this man after my divorce. It was destined and a god sent for us to met. I would so randomly go an get a HIV test done every 6mths. I tested negative in August of 2008 and February 2009. I met my boyfriend in Nov of 2008. we did use protection condoms come only in 3's so after that we went without and has since August 2011. I wanted so extra life insurance so I called my agent and was swabbed in April 11'. I was notified to make contact wit my Dr about my lab results in June. Well I scheduled my appt missed it twice. In October 11'. I was notified by the local Health Dept to come in for a consultation. Well on November 1,2011I was tol I was Hiv positive.I had given the case worker of only 2 people I had been with over the past 3 yrs. Only I didn't have a number for one, she got all of my boyfriend info. I received a call the next day and her question to me was “have u ever had sex wit someone who tol u they was HIV pos?” No ma'am! Well one of my contact was already in the database. She tol me to think about all the info I had given her and relax and think. It came to me she didn't anything but the other guys name, did that mean my boyfriend of 3yrs and infected me? Yes he didn't quite admit to it when confronted. He said he was in denial of 2 yrs before meeting me. He also said he didn't know how to tell me. Before we got serious, well after we got serious he still didn't tell me. He went on to lying about cheating on me wit several females. To this day I am still in love wit this man. Where my life goes from here it's not decided of me. I've thought of murder and suicide. They say u never ask y? So I have let go and let GOD. I have not started meds or treatment yet. I'm undecided if I want to keep this relationship I feel he was selfish of me, he betrayed me and was very disloyal to me and my family.

4 Comments
  1. livelyintellectual 11 years ago

    Even if you had asked, he could have lied. I understand your frustration. For your own sake, try to forgive him and move on with your life… Best of success in that. You are welcome on the tribe, feel free to vent anytime, about anything.

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  2. Momma 11 years ago

    It breaks my heart that there are actually people who are that selfish in this world.  Do no fear what you can not change…..the bad shit only makes you stronger.

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  3. Sexycancer 11 years ago

    I am so sorry.  I have seen this in the clinics that I have worked in.  There is no clean cut way to understand  human behavior, but   I believe  most people that have HIV still want to belong to something or someone.  It doesn't change if you are a woman or a man.  Men and woman both want to  feel that they are wanted, physically, sexually and emotionally.  The chance of losing that person for telling them that you are positive can be much to risky for some .  He was wrong.  I get it.  Been there.  However, no  one can tell you what you have to do about your relationship.  Yes, you are feeling betrayed, scared  and worried about what happens next.  The advise I can give you is both of you need to seek counselling to try to understand why this happened.  Get yourself together after your tears clear.  Get your health in line.  Remember you and your children take priority.  Don't waste time on hate it hurts you more.  If you want to walk away you will make your own choice. 

    I have had HIV for 20 plus years .  I have a daughter who is now 26  and a great husband who is HIV negative .  I love them and they love me.   For who I am ,

    Kisses

     

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  4. Betrayed 11 years ago

    Thanks everyone for ur comments of strength and motivation. This is new to me. I'm so unsure of my next step. I cry all the time to my best friends. I just tol my mom about 4days ago. I get caught up in the mood of thinking of the end of my life. Dying is a process of life but just thinking of it is to much. I pray all the time, I have good faith in God. There are other people tied in the situation. I think about reaching out to tell the other ladies. I find the my self conscious telln me NO. I have a good heart I will find a way to tell them. My boyfriend went to jail in the end of August. I went to a party and meet a young man in Sept and we became close friends and I tol him my status. He went got tested was negative. Only cause he wanted to. Well he wants a relationship wit me. It terrifies me to have any close contact wit anybody because of this. He wants to kiss Im scared,he kisses my forehead I'm scared. I can't see myself him at risk.

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