Love is kind. Love is forever.

When you are young, you think love is everything that it turns out not to be. Perhaps, for those couple years that two people are together, they learn to care extremely deeply for another. They learn about giving up your heart to someone that you can’t bear without. You dream about them, whether you are awake or asleep…and you imagine what forever is. Forever, in terms of loving that someone you choose to be with.

When you are young, you only choose to believe in all the glossy things that love is marketed to offer. You see its glitz and glamour. You only see laughter and joy, selflessness, remarkable devotion. You see everything a young human being wants to believe love is, because that exactly what optimism is; a hidden blade covered in lilies and roses. A dream you keep dreaming, forgetting after a period of time that it isn’t at all what reality bears.

 

At some point, one person in the relationship begins to feel the diminishing of butterflies. They realize they need their heart back, so when you’re asleep they creep into the depths of your soul, and take their heart right out from where you were protecting it. They begin to dream about other things, until they don’t see you anymore in them. Forever suddenly sets into their mind. Forever, they say like an ancient language on their tongue. It is unrecognizable. And what used to mean a promise of devotion becomes doubt. It becomes dust.

 

I’m beginning to feel that the one who used to love me more than anything in the world, doesn’t show the things he used to anymore. He doesn’t leap at the sound of my name, but he nods in acceptance. There are no more sleepless nights. No more dreams. All that seems to be left is what I hated the most. Shallow tears and shallow words. The feeling of being pushed and thrown in one moment, and held tightly in the other. All that is left is the lies you told me, and the bruises I find all over my worthless body. The only thing I wanted to hear has become three shallow words with no meaning. Just a means to grab my body and abuse it, so steal my mind and rape it.

 

And it hurts me so bad I feel my chest ache. My eyes begin to blur with tears of this new reality.

 

1 Comment
  1. Heffaloo 11 years ago

    How incredibly sad, terribly beautiful, and horribly true.  I cannot speak for your last two sections, for I do not know you.  However, the rest of your post is certainly a truth I know too well.

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