I'm learned at a very early young age that the Emperor penguin was a special kind of penguin, and also a special kind of animal in general. These very beautiful animals incubate their own and warm their babies by waddling with them. The father penguin in this society becomes somewhat of a mother penguin. I don't know of many species of animals that the male takes such a pivotal role in the caring for their own. Penguins, seahorses, and on some occasion, one could count humans as one of these special animals. Men don't take the correct role in childbearing. It's a shame to me, but it's not my place to change that. I guess in life sometimes we must accept that not everything is for the better, and that sometimes the pain of being a human is realizing time can be beautiful, but it can also be the most heart wrenching thing in the world.

I'm sitting right now in a Chemistry course tired as I can be, feeling like I'd be better off dead. Not suicidal, no, and no, not depressed. Just a little worn out this morning. From my thoughts. I'm too tired to care right now. I don't care that about how much my care is contaminated. It's fine. I just can't even listen to myself right now. I'm too tired to care. Much too tired. I just want to sleep. I sleep next to my dogs or with something else. I don't like to be alone because I don't like loneliness. Physical loneliness. I just like knowing something is there for me.

Here I sit learning about a hydrogen ion in bases. Oh, I don't have the energy to care. Nor the energy to write anymore. So when I get home I'll sleep. I'll load my guns when I wake. Just another day in the war that is my mind.