i know i havent written in here in a WHILE….but i think its time to add an entry!

 so im goin to do a little RECAP of whats been goin on….

06-07 have been the MOST CHALLENGING  2yrs ive had to go through in a LONG time….

i broke up with 2 gf's….lost my job working for the DEVIL…fell on hard times….got an EVICTION….(FIRST ONE EVER!!)  found a NEW job…3 months into it get hurt on the job…..rent accumulates up to $10,000….workers comp HAS YET TO KICK IN….!!! so i had to apply for Public Assistance….

now the upside to that is in 06 i met the MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ALIVE!! brought her ALL THE WAY FROM CALIFORNIA to NEW YORK to spend the REST OF HER LIFE with me and my boys…

she has stuck with me through this all…

well…when i lost my job, the ex stepped in to help out with the boys…he made it so that they spent MORE time with him to help lift the monetary burden off my shoulders….remember i wasnt workin at that time….now of course i had RESERVATIONS bout D having the boys….i didnt want to believe that he would throw this in my face…i thought better of him than that!

well…let me tell you since i had to apply for PA, it is MANDATORY that i recieve child support…now in the last 5 yrs i havent asked ths asshole for money for HIS 3 children…i would go to him ONLY when i needed a hand….or the boys needed something that i couldnt cover…i was HONEST with him at ALL TIMES!!! we have for the past 5 yrs had an agreement of SPLIT or JOINT custody….the boys would stay with him 3 days a week and i would have them 4 days a week….everyone (my family) thought i was NUTS for doin this…they though that i was NUTS for NOT gettin child support from him….but i didnt want ANYTHING FROM HIM…..

so here we have it….child support is ordered…i told him that this was goin to happen, but what we could do is come up with an agreement, have it in writing a SET amount that contribute to their expenses so that PA doesnt RAPE his checks each week….WELL OF COURSE HE PITCHED THE BIGGEST FIT and basically told me to FUK OFF AND DIE!! so we argued bout it for weeks. up til the point where i decided to take him to family court for JOINT CUSTODY!!

see im the asshole for this cause i dont want to see things go down this way…i dont feel the NEED to have to bring this to court, but this asshole doesnt know how to let a bitch speak…everything HAS to be his fukn way!! he is SCREWING ME ROYALY right now….he is LYING TO THE COURTS sayin that he has had custody of the boys for the past 2 1/2yrs, that the ONLY reason im PRESSING for child support is for the money….and is fillin the boys head with PURE UTTER BULLSHIT!!! since my boys have been with him their grades have DROPPED in school, their attitudes have gone to shit, they expect money to fall off of trees, they are next to impossible….D buys their LOVE…..and its evident….

i have taken to writing all of the things that have been goin on in the past couple of months so that when its time for us to go to court i have a leg to stand on….

so let me tell you what happened today….i came home from 5 hours of wanting to shoot myself in the head…PA has me in this training program with a "bunch of degenerates" so i came home with a migraine so bad that i was throwing up…..so leigh went to the school to pick the boys up…when she gets there she calls me to tell me that the afterschool program wants ther to pick up some packages at the YMCA….at this point she is pissed b/c apparently D was supposed to do this…but when she was told the reason for the pick up she called me back immediately…it just so happened that each yr a family in NEED is picked to be adopted for christmas….what happens is a RICH family goes out and BUYS gifts for the whole family…..CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS….when she arrived at the YMCA….4 HUGE shopping bags FILLED with GIFTS from KMART awaited….im tearing up right now as im writing this….

i had explained to the boys this week that this christmas was going to be a TOUGH christmas b/c we are TIGHT….what i ended up buyin on my own was 3 gifts. but i didnt tell them that….so CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT LEIGH AND I WERE FEELIN AT THIS POINT…..

i couldnt STOP crying! GOD HAS BEEN SO GOOD TO US…..not only did HE give us a christmas….HE made it possible for my $11,000 rent debt to be paid. HE is WORKING in this family….HE is carrying us all through this….and im FOREVER GREATFUL….

there is SOO much more to this story but its TOO much to write and im overwhelmed right now with emotion that i cant think straight…. 

but right now my HEART IS SMILING!!

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