I have feelings for D, but I have inner feelings that he isn't right for me. Should I go by feelings, or should I go by how we are towards one another?

I have a chance to go on a date tonight. Don't know allot about this guy, so do I, or do I not? I am feeling like I should. SO will see, it is 2:10, he will call me at 6pm, so I have time to really try to figure out what I should do. I don't want to turn away ALL dates, for if D isn't right for me, then I would have to start from nothing when/if the times comes for me to fully relize that he isn't. So I am thinking I will go out.

I am having some health problems. Head aches seem to be coming back, I have one now as I am writing this. Fibro pain is more noticable, Lyrica perscription is not fighting off the pain well enough. So in short, that is a little of what I am dealing with.

My BPD is kicking in hard time. I am either possitive about things, or I am pissed off, ready to throw the towel in and end it ( relationships, goals, things needed done, ect. ) I hate this up and down, never know where my head is going to be next. It is hard to fight it back when I am around others who don't know about my mental health. I hate fighting to hide it. But I need the person to understand, and know me before they deal with a BPD out break.

Well going to go. I am needing to go walk my doggy, it isn't raining, it isn't hailing, it is ok for walking. Might be back later on…


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