To whom it may concern,

I found  out that there is no such thing as normal . I was even told not I use it . As much as I try to believe that there is no “normal”, I find myself slipping into my own mind ,often…. I remember I time I felt the way I used to feel . I partially feel happy . When I realize how lucky I am I feel guilty for being soo happy . I was told ocd is triggered by things . I recently found out what my mind was trying to hide . My obsessive thoughts won’t allow me to move on. My brain feels like it’s on a record player , skipping . Sometimes It may appear as if I am looking right at you.However, over and over again plays my record . I’m learning different ways to cope.

I often blame myself for all my broken relationships . But really, it was just one bad one after another . I don’t think about them much anymore .For a long time we tried to blame my young 20’s as an excuse for you behavior . All along I have had ocd.

Now I am just a 28 year old with what feels like a bunch of issues . I have beeen going to therapy every week . I don’t feel like I have the energy to work . I used to enjoy leaving the house and working . I go back and forth with mixed emotions … does anyone else feel like this ? Do you ever feel like you can’t escape the skipping of the record ? I fear as if therapy alone isn’t enough . I had a bad reaction to pills some months back . I’m scared to be on medication … but maybe this is my obsessive thoughts getting the best of me ?

Feel free to ask questions or answer some of mine .