I am so relieved.  My husband finally told my mother that we are going on vacation without her.  Now – for some, this might not be a big feat.  But, for my family it is a huge thing.  About 5 years ago, my aunt and uncle hooked us into Kiawah Island, SC.  That first year we went we had to pick up my mother who had gone with them on their vacation.

After that first year, my mother thought that every time we went there after that – we had to take her with us.  While this may be a fun event for some families, my mother is very high-maintenance.  She has suffered from a very bad back for many years.  It is so bad that she can hardly stand up anymore and she has to lay down whenever we travel.  She smokes (refuses to quit) and constantly falls asleep from her medications.  Taking her on vacations turns it into work more than vacation.  But – me being the guilt ridden person that I am – couldn’t turn her down.  So – for three years she went on vacation with us, and made my life a living hell.

After that first year that we met my aunt and uncle in Kiawah they told my mother that they could not afford to go back.  But I found out a few years ago that they actually did go – they lied to her.  So, I started lieing as well.  We went 2 years in a row without telling her.  Then my son got old enough to blurt out the truth.  We decided to go this year and tell her the truth.  Knowing that she would get mean and awful and say very unnice things. 

So – I did what any smart person suffering depression would do – I made my husband tell her.  She took the news better than I thought.  She did say that it was her last wish before she died (what a guilt trip, hence the problems I have telling her stuff).  Then she said maybe my brother would take her when he gets a job (nice try, that will never happen).  But, all in all she did not say anything really mean or nasty (at least not yet).  You really have to know my mother to understand her, but she is very self centered and mean.  For now – I will continue to communicate only via email (which I don’t have to read if I don’t want to). 

At least the news is out and now I can sleep better at night.