I've had something on my mind for a few days that's bugging me. I know I already blogged tonight but I can't sleep anyhow so I figured I might as well blog about this. I've noticed with myself that I'm VERY open to new people here, and that I give my affections freely and quickly to friends that I have met. It makes me wonder if that's a mistake.
I always feel like maybe I'm still a child stuck in a woman's body~ like I stopped growing emotionally in some ways in mid to late teens. That openess and immediate acceptance of others has always come naturally to me, but has become especially instense since I got so sick. The suffering opened my heart, mind and soul to a lot of things I never noticed before, and the more I saw the more I realized that all people are people and all animals are animals and that all of the above need to be respected and loved regardless. Sure, some people make you nuts, but I've found that if I try to be patient and still, I will find something about them that I admire. Am I a fool for being so childlike in my willingness to accept and love so quickly? And I don't mean romantic love, but the love between friends…
Does my affection bother any of you? I send out hugs and try to ask people about their day and offer any advice I can for situations that I've been through and think are relevant. But I don't want to offend someone or make them uncomfortable. So if you don't like my (((HUGS))), please tell me and I'll try to remember not to tell you that you're loved or give hugs. I just know that for me those things mean an awful lot on a daily basis.
So am I childish?Am I a crazy fool? Or am I me, acceptable and loved for what I am, regardless of the enthusiasm for friendships? I can honestly say that some of the best friends I've made in the last 6 years have been because of Dtribe, and I'm incredibly grateful to Dtribe and the people that make it up for that gift.
Please feel free to share you're thoughts~ just try to be gentle okay? I get hurt fairly easily.