I've had something on my mind for a few days that's bugging me. I know I already blogged tonight but I can't sleep anyhow so I figured I might as well blog about this. I've noticed with myself that I'm VERY open to new people here, and that I give my affections freely and quickly to friends that I have met. It makes me wonder if that's a mistake.

I always feel like maybe I'm still a child stuck in a woman's body~ like I stopped growing emotionally in some ways in mid to late teens. That openess and immediate acceptance of others has always come naturally to me, but has become especially instense since I got so sick. The suffering opened my heart, mind and soul to a lot of things I never noticed before, and the more I saw the more I realized that all people are people and all animals are animals and that all of the above need to be respected and loved regardless. Sure, some people make you nuts, but I've found that if I try to be patient and still, I will find something about them that I admire. Am I a fool for being so childlike in my willingness to accept and love so quickly? And I don't mean romantic love, but the love between friends…

Does my affection bother any of you? I send out hugs and try to ask people about their day and offer any advice I can for situations that I've been through and think are relevant. But I don't want to offend someone or make them uncomfortable. So if you don't like my (((HUGS))), please tell me and I'll try to remember not to tell you that you're loved or give hugs. I just know that for me those things mean an awful lot on a daily basis.

So am I childish?Am I a crazy fool? Or am I me, acceptable and loved for what I am, regardless of the enthusiasm for friendships? I can honestly say that some of the best friends I've made in the last 6 years have been because of Dtribe, and I'm incredibly grateful to Dtribe and the people that make it up for that gift.

Please feel free to share you're thoughts~ just try to be gentle okay? I get hurt fairly easily.

~ Key

  1. Love_Shines 10 years ago

    I think it's a good thing and also a very hard thing especially when you see the world for what it is.  Frankly, there isn't enough of it around, which is one of the things that I think make life much more difficult to bear.  Most people, understanably, build up walls to protect themselves, but sometimes they build up the walls too much and become cold, uncaring and numb to themselves, their feelings and other people.  They lose a lot if not all empathy for other's.  If you've been through any sort of trauma or pain that has rocked you then you know how hard it is to open up, to be yourself, and sometimes to trust people.  To be able to still be a decent, loving human being after some of the things we've been through in life I think is wonderful.

    I wish I could say the same for myself, but it is not so easy for me anymore.  I've been hurt too many times, trusted too many of the wrong people and seen too many bad things in the world to keep all of it.  If you can keep it up, good for you and don't change.  Don't let anyone else tell you that you can't or shouldn't be open.

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  2. SaltWaterDrinker 10 years ago

     I agree: we are here to connect.  

    I admire your open heart, Key.  Your warmth and generosity just blaze through the screen.

    My .02.


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  3. Aswa 10 years ago


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