Today i am feeling very anxious and very angry.  I am going through what should be the happiest time of my life.  I am 6 weeks pregnant, yes i have a lot to sort out but the added pressure of the OCD and pressure around me is something that i am uncapable of coping with and i desparately need positive support but i don't get any.  Instead it is negativity and pressure.

Firstly i find it so hard to keep on top of my day to day tasks when i am feeling constantly exhasuted and a little nautious.  All i want to do is sleep.  I find it exhausting anyway as i always have to double check pretty much everything i do (and this is when i am not pregnant).  So as you can imagine pregnancy makes it ten times harder. 

i am also having pressure from my other half who doesn't have a clue how my ocd affects me and seems to have even less idea that pregancy is tiring..i also worry because we have huge cultural differences that we are goign to want different things for the4 child and that he will controll me …and then from my family.  My father apparently will distraught becuased i am not married to a rich man.  He will be so applled that im scared to tell him becuase what he says will damage me for years to come and make my ocd ten times worse.  My family have always liked to give the impression that they are prim and propper when infcagt they are juust plain ignorant, have always made me feel like an outsider etc…its just ruins my self esteem…when really it should be about me and the baby now.  i have so much to sort out with this pregnancy.  i even have to find somewhere to live as i can't stay where i am because i am currently in a house share…but with all the pressure and no support it is impossible! 🙁