Ok so here’s another Entry as I’m dealing with a lot right now…

My life has been pretty Ok from the outside and I wouldn’t trade it for anything…. But I think that something is wrong… I don’t think Mia (my friend) really trusts me anymore, she never tells me anything, I ask her what’s wrong and she won’t tell me! I’m really worried. I don’t have that many friends and I cherish the ones I do have so losing Mia as a friend would hit me hard especially seeing as her and Elsie are my Best Friends… Like together till death do us part Best Friends… I’m scared like really scared. We’ve been through so much together although now that I think about it… We have never had a real fight… We’ve never yelled at each other ignored each other or anything like that but now I think I’ve genuinely hurt her.

So here’s what happened I was talking with Ellie when Mia came to her locker she looked really angry and upset so I tried to cheer her up and make her laugh by acting silly so I was jokingly asking her a question and she flat out said no in a really angry voice. Well not angry like a mix between angry and sad. It really hit me that she was in a bad mood so of course I asked her “What’s wrong? You Ok?” she replied with “I’m fine” but I knew something was wrong. When she turned around and started to talk to Elsie that changed, she looked happy and was laughing, for some reason this made me mad like really mad… and hurt… It put me in a bad mood. So when we were sitting and eating she was talking to Elsie she started to play with my feet with her feet (its normal!) and because I was still in a bad mood I acted really rude to her so she got up and walked away with Elsie running after her… I know I shouldn’t have acted that way but I felt really hurt like someone ripped out my hear and stomped on it in high heeled boots but seeing her leave like that… that pain was just… I felt so guilty but I was too prideful to run after her and apologize… Now Mia has acted like this before where she isn’t happy when talking to me but never has she walked off like that or anything… I’m always the one to run after her, the one that follows behind, the third one on the sidewalk, the annoying friend that no one wants to talk to… Afterwards Elsie came up and talked to me so I told her everything I told her about how Mia was angry about how she then expected me to be in a good moos etc.… Elsie tried to reassure me but… It didn’t feel right coming from her. That leads me to now I’m currently sitting in Studies of Religion on the verge of tears…

I’M NOT USED TO THIS!!!!

Nothing like this has ever happened before now I’m being left here to stew on my own bad decisions… I wonder if Mia feels the same? I wonder if she knows about the reason why? I’m so scared I don’t know what to do…