I often get judged by my outward appearance, and I hate it. Just because I look female does not mean I am female, I identify as a male. And yet, I still have overwhelming anxiety that one day I’ll come home and it’ll no longer be okay for me to be out of the closet.
The world hurts so much, I know it may seem self-centered to compare my minor problems to the major ones out there, but where else am I to turn? Wal-mart? Although, in theory, I could just walk to Wal-mart every time I’m about to have a mental break down over something stupid. Like getting called faggot by an entire school every day. I know that yes, tons more people suffer worse than me.
And even though it shouldn’t bother me, it’s even harder to hear all my teachers call me by my birth assigned name. To call me female, simply because I was assigned the wrong gender at birth. I know that I am not a lesbian, believe me, I’ve tried. I just don’t fit into any of the roles that I’ve tried, I’ve always felt more masculine.
Also, any suggestions on how to get my siblings to stop outing me? All of them keep announcing my gender like it’s some sort of joke that needs to be broadcasted to the world. Like, the entire reason I didn’t say it in the first place was that I didn’t want to out myself to that person in the first place.