Well the other night I kinda went a little overboard. I was suppose to go over to my friend Ryan's house to listen to some music and have a new beers. We only bought a 4pack of some 10% alcohol type beer and I also bought a pint of some other beer. But with that I had a real good buzz going and after that I should have just went home. But because I always long for attention of others I hit up my friend Jesus and he said if I wanted to meet him at a bar and meet up with some girls. So I did and I felt like we had a really good time there were drinks and there was dancing so then the night ended but I still wanted to keep the night going. I still wanted someone attention from someone so I asked my friend Jesus if he wanted to go get some Pizza down the street and we did. We had a conversation there about the girls we met up with then we went back to his car to continue the conversation. Then he wanted to leave so I left and headed back home and thats where I saw a strip club and went there. Seeking more attention. I paid a girl $120 for a private lap dance not to mention the drinks I had to buy for just being there and the cover. In total for just to seek some attention I spend probably $250 that night alone when it just have just been the 4 pack of beers I bought. I seriously haven't felt so pathetic in my life. I paid a very unattractive girl to sit on my lap thats what old guys do. I'm just 22. The next day having known I spent so much money on one night I did absoultely nothing but sleep and stare at the walls in my room. I felt really ashamed of myself and it was all because of my lonliness. I mean this did open my eyes for me not to do that ever again but I really need someone to talk to on a consistant basis so this doesn't happen again. I'm a broke college student, I can't be spending that kind of money. Anyway I also spend hours yesterday looking for another job to just get the money back or even make more money but I kept thinking maybe that would just enable more of this kind of behavior. I'm also thinking about getting another credit card. I only have one but when this kind of stuff happens you need your ass cover. I hope I make it until next paycheck.

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