It's really quiet right now. Another Saturday night, and what the hell am I doing about it?
99% of my life I have slept alone. I have two kids, am a decent person, yet I can't seem to understand what the fuck life is about. Can you spell LOSER? and yeah, I'm talking about sex, relationships, but hell, what about just plain ol' friendship? What about getting drunk with some friends and listening to some good music? What about feeling like I exist beyond the knowledge I have in my fingertips?
I'm not stupid, but for the most part I live in my fucking head. That is so wrong…. I want to hang out, I want to be accepted, and yeah, I'd love to feel once again to feel that skin on skin feeling that two people can share. Is that wrong somehow? Ever here Sting's lyrics 'Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth' or Simon and Garfunkel's "And when I woke, and felt you warm and near, I kissed your honey hair with my grateful tears…"
Yeah, I'm a guy, I love women and sometimes my body/soul/mind aches for female companionship. So what, guess I gotta deal with it. I promised myself that I'd get some friendships before I got into any personal relationships, but I'm getting nowhere on both accounts.
Why should men make haste to die?
Empty heads and tongues a-talking
Make the rough road easy walking,
And the feather pate of folly
Bears the falling sky.
Oh, 'tis jesting, dancing, drinking
Spins the heavy world around.
If young hearts were not so clever,
Oh, they would be young for ever:
Think no more; 'tis only thinking
Lays lads underground.