It's really quiet right now. Another Saturday night, and what the hell am I doing about it?

99% of my life I have slept alone. I have two kids, am a decent person, yet I can't seem to understand what the fuck life is about. Can you spell LOSER? and yeah, I'm talking about sex, relationships, but hell, what about just plain ol' friendship? What about getting drunk with some friends and listening to some good music? What about feeling like I exist beyond the knowledge I have in my fingertips? 

I'm not stupid, but for the most part I live in my fucking head. That is so wrong…. I want to hang out, I want to be accepted, and yeah, I'd love to feel once again to feel that skin on skin feeling that two people can share. Is that wrong somehow? Ever here Sting's lyrics 'Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth'  or Simon and Garfunkel's "And when I woke, and felt you warm and near, I kissed your honey hair with my grateful tears…"

Yeah, I'm a guy, I love women and sometimes my body/soul/mind aches for female companionship. So what, guess I gotta deal with it. I promised myself that I'd get some friendships before I got into any personal relationships, but I'm getting nowhere on both accounts. 

Think No More, Lad by A. E. Housman
Think no more, lad; laugh, be jolly: 
Why should men make haste to die? 
Empty heads and tongues a-talking 
Make the rough road easy walking, 
And the feather pate of folly 
Bears the falling sky. 

Oh, 'tis jesting, dancing, drinking 
Spins the heavy world around. 
If young hearts were not so clever, 
Oh, they would be young for ever: 
Think no more; 'tis only thinking 
Lays lads underground.

Thats a poem a grade 12 prof once read in class specifically for me… first time I found it on the net. I never listened to that advice. And now, I'm middle-aged, and lost.
Peace

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 Comment
  1. Solo_Hans 11 years ago

     I'm sorry folks… just laughed at myself… said I live in my head and explain skin on skin feeling by quoting lyrics and explain my problems with a poem…

     

    Ahahahaahhahahaha!!!!!! I'm definitely losing it!!!

     

    Peace

    Gotta go meditate… (ran out of booze)

     

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