Yeah I the kind of girl that people barely acknowledge exist, and the one that would rather be at home instead of out like everyone else my age, but I am also not bullied or mistreated by everyone in fact I love my life (or at least I feel like I should). That is what makes everyone dismiss my feeling so quickly and easily. Truthfully I have been struggling with anxiety, depression, and self image all my life, but I have only acknowledged it last year. People don’t believe when I say that I feel empty sometimes, or that I just want to stop existing. They all say how great my life is and how I have no reason to feel this way. I can’t even come up  with a reason why I feel numb sometimes and others like every emotion is coursing through my body trying to keep me down. Too many days I have come up with a list not to end it all. I am looking for a solution to not only stop doing that, but to look forward to the next day and my life instead of trying to fast forward to the end. My therapist told me I do this a lot. I look forward to the day where I am married with kids and I have my own veterinary clinic (basically my dream life), but the problem is that I don’t know how to get there and the reasons are my depression and anxiety each playing their part to stop me from reaching my potential. I don’t even know what my full potential is because I feel like I have lost myself to the person I created to put out in the world to fit in. I have been that person for so long I don’t even know who I am anymore. But I have to keep going right… there is no other option and if I keep yelling at myself in the mirror to stop being like this, bothering people, and feeling this way so be it, right?

1 Comment
  1. susan512 3 years ago

    Hoping for better, please be kind to yourself something is not right in our body when we feel bad about ourselves, it’s over 4 million of us in United States with Anxiety and Depression, I too suffer with it I’m sitting right now and my flesh is trembling I have no energy can’t even go to sleep because my anxiety just won’t let me, I’m taking Citalopram for a month now 20 mg and 300 mg of Gabapentin every 8 hours and the medication still hasn’t kick in. Hopefully this is the right medication for me so just we need to try to do what we can and help our selves, may God bless us and protect us

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