Watching the rain as it hits the pond….  This week has started off rather negatively, for the most part.  i was waiting for my package to arrive from my brother and his wife, for my birthday (which was groundhog’s day, btw), after UPS sent it back, saying i’d moved, and he’d resent it since i hadn’t moved.  i got one of their postcards in the mailbox saying they couldn’t deliver the package because i’d moved–my name is even on the box, now, and i am the primary lease-holder, as well as primary for all utilities!!!!!  So, i didn’t go out yesterday, since i was still waiting for the package to get here (the site said it was to be delivered yesterday).  Again, i go to the mailbox to check the mail, and find another postcard there, saying the package was being held in Wilmington until the 8th.  First of all, i spoke with several representatives–at least two of which are in the Wilmington office–and the understanding was the package was to be delivered to this address.  Secondly, when i called the Wilmington office yesterday, the same ‘chick’ i spoke to last week answered and went through the whole “i’m so sorry” routine and “we will hold it here until the 8th”….and the sender put restrictions on it.  To which i told her:  my brother would not put restrictions on it–unless he wanted me to sign for it, which would mean they’d have to deliver it!!!–and if they weren’t going to do their job and deliver the package to my address–as stated on said package–to fking ship it back to the sender, and hung up.  i sent a message to my brother to let him know what happened–we have NEVER had to go through this sort of BULLSHIT regarding a package, before!!!!!!  —and, he used to be in the Army!!!!  Maybe this is one of the huge reasons the go-to color for UPS is BROWN!??                                                                                                      That was enough stress for one day.  *sigh  When my husband called last night and left me a message, i didn’t hear the phone ring, since it was charging–and i was probably out of the room, too.  And, i left him a short message on his email, so i guess it kinda caught him off-guard.  So, when he got up this morning, he was on the phone, making sure i was OK.  Why?  What difference does it really make?  i know he doesn’t set out to continually hurt my feelings, but it doesn’t stop it from happening.  Besides, he’s got his “person” that he spent a week or two with, that he reads to and talks to daily….So, what difference does it make?  Of course, he’s still my husband….legally, anyway.  And, he is my contact person, should anything happen to me.  Plus, i was going through a moment of “he needs to know what’s going on in your head,” and i told him what i was really feeling and the thoughts going through my head, before i met with the counselor, last week.  Now, he cares…No, that’s not fair.  He’s always cared.  i’ve just questioned how much, i guess.  *sigh  i know i have to be straight with whomever is treating me, otherwise, the whole package can’t get ‘fixed’….i just hate going through this, one more time.  i mean, honestly, i have NO earthly idea where i’m going, once the lease expires in June.  Uncertainty is kicking my butt, right now.                                                                                                                                                               i have an appointment tomorrow, to see a physician’s assistant for my primary care.  i’m sure i’ll forget or overlook something, but hopefully, i’ve got most of it all written down, and on a usb drive to share, if need be.  i’m sure he’ll probably request some blood work–it’s been about 9 months or so, now, so i’m due for a check.  i just have my own issues with dealing with medical professionals, so anxiety is going to be a kicker tomorrow, for sure.  uuuuuggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!  All i can say at this point:  i hope between the counselor and the p.a., they can help me.  i’ve spent too much time in the darkness, lately.  i continue to need reasons to keep going.  i wrestle with the urges, all the time, lately.  This just can’t keep going on.  i’m spent.  

  1. ucfdarkknight 3 years ago

    Happy Belated Birthday, Delane !!! I’m so sorry I missed it. =(

    That’s so weird about the UPS thing. That definitely sounded ridiculous. I’ve had run-ins with them myself. Matter of fact, I think everyone has. LOL

    That sucks about the living situation. I personally think any stress with dealing with where you live or when you get home is one of the worst stressors there are.

    I’m so sorry about the other issues as well. I will definitely continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    I know I don’t go on this site regularly, but I think of you often and continue to hope the best for you.

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  2. Author
    delane1 3 years ago

    Thanks, again, dear friend. And, yep, i’ve noticed your….absence? or less-frequency? But, i totally understand. Everybody has their own lives to try and live and get to where they need to be for their own sense of well-being. So, it’s never an issue–i don’t hold it against ya. i do, however, miss our back’n forth, from time to time. ***Hugs***
    Ya know, i will NEVER understand people! The day after telling them to send it back and etc, someone delivered the package to the door! Since i’d even shared with the mail-lady about what i’d been going thru with UPS, even she shook her head, before she giggled at their delivering it. And, even on my brother’s end of the system, they still tried to argue with him that the way they’d addressed the package was incorrect, since there was that much of an issue delivering it. So, i took a pic of another package that’d been delivered about a week before–from a store–for him to prove his point. –People just never seem willing to accept any fault. i just don’t get it….*sigh
    i did survive the appointments, last week. Thank you. i even had to get some blood work done ,so i got that done earlier this week. Some of the numbers were a bit….off, so i’m still expecting a call or notification or something–to set up another appointment or some plan to help get me where i should be?–but, there again, my body needs to behave and work with me…so, i have no idea if anything’ll help for the time being.

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