I decided to be festive and use some colors for this blog, since I am feeling in a better mood.

I have a really bad fear of abadonment, I always feel like people don't like me for some reason.. its weird. I am my own worst critic.  I really don't like the way I look..and honestly I have a pretty boring personality, idk. haha.  I just wish that I could be someone that everyone wanted to hang out with intsead of the preson texting everyone in her phone trying to find SOMEONE to hang out with.

Today I had a fiddle lesson which I was pretty nervous about, but got through it and did a good job. I also was nervous about work , but went and was proud of myself. I even stayed later then normal, and then went to my friends house which is also hard. I feel like i did a lot today and am proud of myself.  Why do I still feel like im on the verge of crying? Wtf?  I'm happy damnit. let me be happy!

Although money is soooo tight right now.  I owe my boyfriend 70 dollars , and i Hate being in debt. I don't get paid until Thursday.  Today I had 30 dollars taken out of my account for a gym membership (which i dont use btw) and that leaves me with a total of 4 dollars to my name. I also have to find a way to pay for college books, an oil change, gas, shampoo and conditioner, meds, and go dwho knows what else.  *sigh* I need another job but that ain't happening because of this little anxiety bird on my shoulder. 🙂


  1. preciousgem221 11 years ago

    I know exactly how you feel!! I hate being in debt too and hate even more when I have to think about how I'm going to afford things. Being in college is supposed to help us in the long run, but in the meantime it sucks!!

    Stay strong xoxo

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  2. pixieflower 11 years ago

    I feel the same way you do with the fear of adadonment. Surprisly too the friend thing is normal. We all have different busy busy lives where its hard to find time to call or text or even hang out.

    And the debt issues.. We all have these problems. The ecomony is horrible and its always going to be tough. But stick through it and it will make you stronger. Maybe you wont be able to have your wants but you will probably appreciate the needs way more.

    Just hang there!

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