I haven’t written in awhile. So I thought I would give an update. I’m doing ok. I had a really bad day Sunday I mean really bad, suicidal thoughts and everthing. It was crazy cause it was all of a sudden. My therapist is ok. She is driving me crazy because she knows that I want to know what we are going to be doing next and she purposly won’t tell me. Sometimes  with the the things she says I don’t think she knows how I think at all. But I guess our relationship will grow in time.

My son starts his therapy Monday. She sounds great. She is going to try to retrain his thinking and fears. She will be doing natural stuff to build up the neurons in his brain to help slow down his ceratonin that causes ocd. I’m praying it will work. I really don’t want him to be on meds.

Me and my son are both challenging ourselves to see if we can let some things go. He is trying to not get out of bed and check on me and I have tried not to freak out about the heaters. I’m not allowed to touch them or touch the walls surrounding them. This has helped us a bunch doing it together. We will ask each other in the morning if we cheated and so far it has been great. We both were talking about how so hard it can be at times.

They are also saying I have ocpd. The type where I try to be perfect. So I’m really trying to not say sorry 24/7 or defend myself about everything. That has been a hard one. Ecspecially today at Thanksgiving cause we always do it at my house and I was going crazy trying to make everything perfect.

But all in all I’m doing pretty good. I have had my moments but they haven’t been freak out moments besides Sunday. So praise be to God. It is only His hand that is saving me and keeping calm.  Talk to everyone soon! God Bless and I hope ya’ll had a great Thanksgiving!!!!!!