So, it is v-day… ogre(hubby) spent morning helping his church with some comuntity clean up thing. Nice of them. Wish they’d come clean up our house, hehe. Usual disaster it is, just a quick, oh shit clean-up yesterday by ogre. His mother and brother came to town to look for a house for bil. Great, yay, eek! I really don’t want his bro living within walking distance. Half the reason we moved outta state… to get AWAY from the crazy in-laws.

Was notified by ogre on Thursday that MIL was staying in MY home, no problem, no matter what I said. Spent 45 minutes on phone, self-torture for sure, explaining to the crazy woman that she was NOT sleeping in my house. That there was a problem and that I had fixed it by establishing the HELL NO rule (MIL & SIL have to hotel it when visiting. Toxic they are.) and that there was no fine print allowing either to over-rule me. Husband is not backing me up at all, as is the norm.

Quick backstory… Toxic relationship with in-laws. Have been called demon spawn, banished from their home for years at a time, they tried to barge into NICU unit upon birth of first son (not necessary to see me to see MY child. Nurses advocated better than ogre. Kicked them on their way lol.)… Lots of stuff, it has been 15 years after all.

More recent (will spill my soul later for sure)? Ummm, MIL asked me "Why you choose to RUIN my son’s life?" during last visit. HELLO, insane woman. Who the hell says stuff like that aloud if even in your head? Bad me, asked her the same question substituting her husband for mine. I mean WTF? What is the answer to such an insane question? Mind you, this is AFTER I have given birth to her two beautiful, ONLY, grandchildren. SIL (not here this visit, thank the gods!) has explained to me that my upbringing Joshua, his exposure to shows like ANGEL (vampires, whatever) and sending him to a public school (she is a public school teacher-marm, for goodness sake!) will lead to him becoming a criminal and a rapist.  Nice Aunt she is. She also has confessed to ogre that there were times when she should have called CPS (children’s protective services) on me for my abusive treatment of my eldest for all these years.

Anyways. will surely fully journal this all out, since it does all sit inside me, poisonous/toxic, over and over again repeating.. ocd for ya.

Right now I should just be happy that she IS sleeping in a hotel. One step at a time, right? What is funny is that the convo/argument/stress leading up to the visit had me down with a headache within 2 hours of their arrival. I fell asleep at 6pm last night and woke up around 10am today! Admittedly took 1 xanax about an hour before their arrival… but I really just think all of me broke. Would not have noticed if she DID sleep here, as I fell asleep with her here and woke up to her here, lmao. Still the hotel is a victory, I guess. Just trying to get through the rest of the visit. Thus the blah blah blahing here. Cannot spend time with 2 year old as he is in room with her. 8 year old is out with uncle and dada. Fun V-day, huh. (besides, who the hell wants to show houses on v-day night?) Good luck with that.

More later, I’m sure. Thank you for allowing me in the Tribe. All alone is so much a pain sometimes.









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