hi everyone! hope folks are doing well and for those struggling right now, 'cause we all have our moments, you are in my thoughts. i had been struggling. having broken my arm, i've been forced to face a lot of things with my OCD, mainly the handwashing. very difficult for me to accomplish my way one-armed. and i can't situate my clothes properly, which takes me toward insanity. there's lots. and it still sucks quite a bit, but i feel the anxiety dropping. i feel myself not giving a damn about the compulsion. i feel myself being able to just enjoy the moment with my son or husband. which is kind of a blessing. i am able to do more one-armed than i ever imagined. i can fold laundry, cook, change diapers, shower, grocery shop, etc. some of it is difficult and painful, but i can do it.

unfortunately, the fracture i have is not simple. you should see the look on some of the doctors' faces when they look at my x-rays. damn, i did a bang up job of destroying my shoulder. i have a proximal humerus fracture and its basically chopped my arm from my shoulder and then the ball of the shoulder is nearly obliterated. its one hot mess at the top of my left arm. thank goodness i'm right-handed. its amazing the pain hasn't killed me when someone accidentally knocks it or when my sling isn't tied down tight and my arm swings. i've grown used to it. right now i could be utterly depressed with my situation. i can't even hug my son. but i'm not anymore. i got an appointment with the big guns at harborview medical center in seattle on tuesday. i have all the faith in the world theu can help me or at least help me accept my fate. so, just got to make it until then and stay strong in my mind…and not let the ocd get the best of me (luckily right now i'm winning that fight)…