I walked outside today as per my usual routine. Twice a day is my thing, or how I prefer. It had rained for the past two days. The yard is a mushy mess, the crawfish holes built up in a muddy mound community. Slush has made the once solid fresh ground a giant sinking land mass. Several times I had to avoid the mud, the wet, the puddles, and whatever nastiness got in my way. Music is soothing to me, it lifts my soul depending on what song I\'m listening to.
This morning I decided to spend my walk in the quiet, appreciating the sounds of nature opposed to the strirring voices in my head, all the while inhaling…one, two, three…hold…one, two, three…exhaling…one, two, three…releasing the sticking fingers anxiety has on my soul. I paid close attention to the wet spots in the yard, the muddy-gray crawfish mounds. I could maneuver around them nicely only sinking once. But once I was finished I didn\'t feel relaxed as I should. My mind was fixed on how I felt, my problems, what was going on.
I filled the middle of my day with busy work–making home made butter cream icing to go with the holiday cupcakes for tomorrow night\'s Christmas party, reading a book I haven\'t read in years, doing some yoga, bringing cookies to my pastor…I had my sight on something other than my condition. My focus had something to keep it busy.
This afternoon I decided on music to accompany my walk. This made it harder to focus on the muddy spots and dangerous crawfish holes that I kept half expecting a snake to slither its head out and wrap around my legs. Switching through my music, it was just so difficult to focus on the problem–not falling in the muck. Meanwhile I\'m walking in silence.So I decided on something else.
I ignored the mud, bringing my focus back onto the music I love so much–filled with so many memories–and walked. Yes, I got a little wet, but I kept walking. I never fell. I stayed standing strong and always walking…walking…walking. I will continue to walk until I get to where I\'m going.