today I learned that I failed a chem exam. I didn't eat till I got home when my friend made me . wanted to cut the whole day, nearly puked up bile when I heard someone say that my ex girlfriend might be taking a guy to prom. I’m not going, I don't have the money and seeing the girl I was in love with for 14 months only to have her dump me in a school bathroom like what we had was nothing, in a beautiful dress would kill me. just came home from kick boxing not going to eat dinner. I wanted to cry so many times when I was there, I was failing so bad and everyone was yelling at me to try harder but I had nothing left. So tired. I wanted to cut but I am too tired tonight, I will tomorrow though. I also thought about killing myself several times today. I wonder what its like on the other side. I just want to be happy. Obviously that is too much to ask in this like, maybe my next one.
thankyou epiphany for taking the time to read and reply to my blog. i am very sick at the moment. everyday is a battle. i hate waking up in the morning. i just want it all to end. what makes me cut? the thought that georgina never wanted me, that i was never good enough, that i am stupid, fat and ugly. i see her so happy and here i am a zombie, i dont smile, i look off to the distance when i walk, i zone out all the time, some times i end up places wnen i have no idea how i got there. i dont eat, i dont sleep.