Let's start off on Friday. Friday I went on my friends Party Bus. Me and about 19 others. Building up to it I was getting this anxiety feeling I normally get when I go out. I start to feel anxious and not sure of myself, trying to keep myself busy so I won't think about the night. Well when I got on the bus, once I sat down it was starting to get to me again. I felt very uncomfortable and felt like I needed to get out. But that was very brief. I did have 2 drinks and that was it. I knew as long as I would dance with someone that I was just going to be just fine. And I did, she was one of the girls I wanted to dance with since before I got on the bus. We dance the whole night. We stopped for a bathroom break half way through the night, and thats when my friend got sick. And I pretty much took charge. We helped him out and we all knew we had to take him home so we did. It was cool that I was the leader and took control of the situation. Once we took him home, I told his parents what had happened and they understood and were glad we took him home right away. They thanked me that I helped his son out. After we finished with that we continued on with the Party Bus. I still danced with the same girl. I didn't know she was feeling me, as in she kinda liked me. Like we just met, I thought it was the alcohol talking but I knew she was pretty sober at that time. So she kissed me, and that was a big suprised for me. I kissed a very pretty girl. Our time on the Party Bus was coming to a close. it was close to 2am, I knew I had to get home but I stuck around just to be with her. She lay down beside me on the curb of the street and but her head on my shoulder. We talked for a bit while we waited for her ride to get here. I got her number, we talked a little more and then she gave me a goodnight kiss and told me she was going to text me later. She did once I got home. And we talked a while more. I couldn't really sleep because of all the excited of the night. But it was all worth it.

On Saturday I talked to her a little more. She said she wanted to get together again that night, and that her friend Sam will come along as long as my friend Anthony comes too. Sam and Anthony have a thing going I guess. So the four of us went to the beach that night. We took a walk on the pier and just sat at the beach for a while. The thing is I'm not good in these situatons. Never have been. My mind goes to a blank and I can't think of anything to talk about. She was quiet pretty much the whole night too. Well when we all said we wanted to go get some food we headed to the car. When we did that Anthony and Sam were way ahead of us so we can have a little alone time. I just played with her a while, just playful fun, messing with her. The more we played the closer we got and that lead to holding hands to the rest of the way to the car. Once we got food we headed back to her house to eat and watch a movie. We sat comfortably as we watched the movie. No one said a thing, we were mostly quiet. I thought by this point I had proven how lame and awkward I was but not saying much. It is very hard for me to think of something to say or even do. I sat next to her but I didn't want to cuddle next to her. I thought it was to early for that. As soon as the movie ended I told my friend lets go home. I thought forsure I was done for anyways. But she surprised me again. Gave me another goodnight kiss. And we didn't even say or do much. I tend to over analyze these things too much. I think I'm doing that right now. So tomorrow will be another one of these "double dates" and I think I'm a little anxious and nervous about it. I honestly never had a gf before. I did have one, it didn't last long and she got bored with me. I don't want to be considered boring. So I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. These situations are very hard for me especially when I don't know what to do. And to be honest I think I'm a very lousy kisser. I haven't really kissed that many girls. I'm not a very intimate person, I've already figured that out. I wish I knew I was doing more but I guess this is gained by experienced.

2 Comments
  1. Lawrence_Michaels 9 years ago

    Hey there

    Just read your blog….I know what that feeling is like of being nervous and also excited at the same time when you\'re just getting together with a girl and I bet she feels the same too. Girls quite often like the quiet sensitive type so I wouldn\'t worry about it just try and stay in the moment when you\'re with her. And with the kissing it takes a bit of practice to start with for everyone, just use your sense of touch to enjoy exploring each other and slow it right down 🙂

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  2. padsquad1 9 years ago

    Thank you for the suggestions, I really appreciate them

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