Thanks for your comments and insight. Hopefully by sharing our experiences it will help in the process of healing and moving forward. I can't at the moment because I am having to take my problems to the industrial relations tribunal to make my company do the right thing and pay me my entitlements of redundancy as they told me my job no longer exists.

I have worked in an environment where the Department head was a bully and allowed really toxic behaviour in the office. He was finally removed and we were all reassured that the changes would be positive and our positions would not be in threat of loss but these were just empty rhetoric and they did not educate people as to what is no longer acceptable behaviour in the department.

The toxicity still existed and continued until finally they had to listen when a work colleague went further after feeling threatened and intimidated. They advised this person to go to the police but offered no support and took two weeks to do anything about investigating the person’s complaints meanwhile forcing them to site opposite the very person they were in fear of harming them or their family.

An investigation was finally undertaken and there was an option that you either participated in the investigation or would be disciplined further for failure to comply. It ended with the standing down of several staff and their resignation or being terminated. This not the outcome I wanted. All I wanted was for the people that did it to my work colleague and me on an ongoing basis to be counselled and educated so they would no longer continue their senseless behaviour. Then I got treated like a whistleblower and was unsupported in the nasty behaviour that ensued.

I took my grievances to our OH&S committee re the lack of mediation, support or conciliation and then found that I became the target of some very unsavoury allegations which were a complete fabrication. My faith in the goodness and honesty of people has been really tested and my trust factor is zero.

Rather than offer me a redundancy package they told me that they had been secretly reviewing me and another person for a newly created Team Leader role which was not only junior to my current position but was not really created as there was already a person in the position of team leader. I knew then that they had no intention of doing the right thing and it was just a formality before they appointed the other person and then told me I did not get the position. This was just their way of trying to avoid paying me the appropriate redundancy.

I was told that I could go home for half a day whilst they finalised their decision but I knew it was a complete farce. They refused to allow me to collect my handbag and phone or return to my desk, they refused to allow me to leave without seeing a Psychologist that they had brought in as they said it was part of their duty of care.

I told them countless times tears streaming down my face that I did not want to meet with their Psychologist but they would not let me leave the Human Resources Offices. I felt confused, frightened and totally humiliated. I was walked through the Human Resources Dept where people kept their eyes averted and their heads bowed like they had been all told what were happening and walked into a tiny office were the Psychologist was sitting and sat down.

After my boss and the HR representative left me alone I recognised the Psychologist as the one I had attended three company funded sessions when I could not cope with the bullying and he had advised me then to leave my job. I knew then that I would get no support or empathy and his presence was just to ensure they had ticked their boxes re Duty of Care.

I told him that they had forced me to see him and would not let me leave the building until I had done so. He said that this was wrong and I can't be forced to see him but did not get up and go and tell the company that was paying his wages that this was a breach of ethical behaviour.

 I  found later no one can be forced to see a company Psychologist with the threat of  being unable to leave the company premises or be disciplined but given a previous experience where I had  my first panic attack when yelled at and marginalised by a colleague I went and told several people that I had to leave and discovered I could not advise my senior managers directly who were in meetings and then left messages on the voicemail of my deputy department director and the HR representative only to be pursued with a charge of abandonment of job which was dropped when I asked for a witness to be present in meetings.

The nightmare continued when I was walked out of the building like a common criminal after over 4 years of giving my life to my job.  The job criteria they gave me re the “Newly Created Position" I was told to give back as I was not allowed to leave the premises with it. Why and what was happening  kept on going over in my mind and I had never been more scared, tearful and angry and confused at the same time.

It gets no better they then sent me a letter whilst I was off sick as my doctor did not believe I could go back the next day for the meeting in the state I was in and advise me I marked lowest in the criteria which was totally unfounded as I had received a pay rise in July for my great work and had extensive capabilities and experience and had run the most efficient and effective contact centre and had the stats to prove it.

I was devastated and because I had lived for my job and saw no way out of the nightmare than to end it all so took an overdose. As you can see this failed as I am still here.

I thought I had hit rock bottom but had further to fall and will continue my blog when more able to do so.

Thank you for reading my blog and sharing with me. I hope that one day I can look back on all of this and not have it devastate me so. Yours Bossyk