Well for once my mother halfway listened to me during one of our “conversations”. She offered to get me a therapist and get me evaluated for anxiety medication. But of course I have to factor in my father in this therapy and med situation. Of course he is gonna lose his shit when he hears i want or need meds for anxiety or just anything in general. Considering his past, there’s no reason for him to be treating me this way about my issues, but sure enough he treats me like im an attention-whore. (which i’ve been called before) and he wonders why i hide shit from him. He can’t accept anything abnormal about me whatsover. He was just yelling at my mom about how she “lesbianed our daughter out to some girl”. He’s went from blaming me for being molested to blaming my mother. progress? i dont think so. but hey, i guess it was my fault that the girl was a sick person (bullshit). to him, therapy for all the shit he’s done to me and everything i’ve been through makes me weak, so he flips out whenever anything concerning my mental health comes up. i have no clue what im gonna do about this. and its my job to figure it out. i know its not my moms fault that she doesn’t understand how he treats me when she goes to work, but its kind of upsetting that she doesn’t notice the way he is towards me. i might be being selfish, but sometimes it can’t be helped…
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