well as many ppl around the world do I suffer from comfort eating which has contributed to my weight being at a not so healthy point for my height. There are time I don’t do but then there are times I do like lately. I don’t gorge or anything like that but I do tend to eat a little more than I should then when my kids go to bed and everyone is asleep I bust out my rocky road ice cream. I feel awful for doing it and even though it’s only an 8 oz cup I’m eating it’s still more than it should be. Then when I’m done when there is left overs from dinner (and there usually is) I eat that. I know i shouldn’t but I do. My dad died of complications of diabetes in 2003. In 2005 I was told I was borderline diabetic.  Knowing this I did change my eating habits and start an excersice routine. I lost 20lbs. in 3 months. I was so proud of myself. I was feeling good and energized. Doing outdoor activities with my kids and begining to enjoy life again. I had had a car accident I was recovering from that caused me some shoulder and back pain but I was determined not to let it keep me down and out. Later that year I had a bad fall and again agrivated my back. I feel inside a grocery store because I did not want to be one of those ppl who is sue happy I trusted that they would help me in anyway I needed. THey then began to deny that this ever happened even though I had a few witnesses fill out a report with me in the store. I was forced to get a lawyer. Well the lawyer sent me to therapy and it dragged on for a year. The store denied it ever happend "lost the incident report and my witnesses failed to respond to my lawyer. Needless to say it was the begining of a downward spiral again. I had not been that way in a while and i just fell hard. Since then I had gained the 20 back plus 20 more. I did manage to lose about 16-17 lbs but I am still very heavyu for my 5’1" frame. So here I sit having the tools and equipment to get back on track and can’t bring myself to do anything. I even bought the Wii Fit (with my tax money) swearing I would use it. I have yet to do any excercise on it or any for that matter. I want and need to do it so bad but I just feel so tired al the time and unmotivated. Sigh. As of my last check up thankfully I am still borderline not to bad but still needs to be an area of concern. I hope God gives me the strength tomorrow to start and get my life and health back together. For me and for my children.  

 

Eve

 

P.S. Sorry for smashing all my words together. I hope they made sense.

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