Well first of all I wanna say thank you to the comments I recieved in my blog and guestbook. I honestly didn't think I'd get any response on my first time blogging but it just goes to show you how many people actually are very supportive of others. Thank you so much.
Well today was one of the best days I've had in a while. I spent the whole day with my mom and we went shopping, to breakfast and lunch, painted, and watched two movies. That's why I'm so exhausted, but it was great. I realized a lot today that this is what I mainly missed about being clean. Spending time with my loved ones. My mom and I talked a lot about my struggle to stay clean along with other things that I did while I was on drugs. It made me realize that I could either be in jail, brain dead, or just dead period. I must say other than for myself, she's the main reason I wanted to get clean. But we all know, unless YOU want to get sober, it's not gonna happen. I've tried staying clean countless times but each time I was forced in someway. Whether it was I was either going to be kicked out of my home, cut off from my family, or some other consequence. No one really realized that if I didn't want to do it, then it wasn't going to happen.
On one more topic, I'd really like some of your inputs on this. I haven't been on herion since November 25 but I am in a Methadone clinic. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a facility where you go in once a day to get dosed methadone, which is a medicine that keeps you from being sick and also takes away drug cravings and helps you function normally without withdrawal symptoms. It's 100 percent legal and it doesn't get you high or anything like that. This facility also gives drug tests, counseling, and group theropy. However I've been told and put down that I'm still considered "not sober" and still on drugs since I'm taking medication. What do you guys think? Am I not considered clean and sober because of this? Plus for those of you who don't know about opiates, it's one of the worst things to detox from, it's not like alcohol or cocaine. It physically hurts and it's very very painful. Don't get me wrong, I'm not down playing other addictions one bit, but I was very frustrated and upset when I was told this. I'd really like some other input.
Wow this is a long blog. I'm sorry for that but I had a little on my mind. lol. So if you're still reading, thank you so much. And if you dont respond to my posts, I will take the time to respond to you. It make take me a day or to but I will. Much <3 and remember
Live Above_the_Habit.
Funny how everybody believes that you are "an alcoholic/addict when you say you are" but they question absolute sobriety ! Sobriety is a process for me.. stopped the drinking and xanax then started working the steps..I may not have had drugs or drink for 21 months but we still work on ourselves (sobriety) everyday to improve our lives.. Even though I don't know about methadone treatment it is probably the best course for recovery for this drug..
This is the point.. You are willing to do what it takes to get you away from the drug of choice.. sounds like sane, sober thinking to me!.. Then you see the things you have lost and could loose again if you go back to that life.. sane and sober thinking to me! You are probably prescribed this by your doctor if the ones who say you are not sober have a Dr. before their name don't let it bother you.. There is a physical risk here that only a doctor is aware of..
Glad you see the beauty of your relationship with your mom.. Sounds like you have much to be greatful for and hope you have a great day!!
Karen